Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Catfight: Brennan Boesch vs. Delmon Young

The Tigers are in the middle of a pennant race approaching the trading deadline. Yet somehow I find myself becoming more and more detached from this team in 2012. Maybe it has to deal with the losses of Magglio Ordonez and Victor Martinez. Maybe it’s the growing number of irrational and/or suddenly entitled feeling Tiger fans that are popping up everywhere. I can’t really fully explain it, but I think a big part of it lies in the fact that I really don’t care for the majority of the players on the team this year.

Sure, Cabrera, Jackson, Verlander, Scherzer, Victor, and Coke are favorites of mine. And I have that weak spot in my heart for the hapless Raburn. But the rest of the guys, to be honest, I wouldn’t be heartbroken if they left Detroit tomorrow. This is something new to me and I’m not sure I like it.

That being said, with the exception of Ryan Raburn, there are two guys that have drawn the ire of the fans possibly more than anyone else this year. Those guys are Delmon Young and Brennan Boesch. And with the rumor mill circulating talk of the Tigers acquiring a corner outfielder by July 31st, one of these two may be out of a job.

But who stays and who goes? How does one possibly make such an important decision? Easy.

You have a Catfight.

1. 2012 Stats

Boesch: .248/.284/.379/.663, 9 HR, 36 RBI, -1.2 WAR, 78 OPS+
Young: .274/.299/.412/.710, 10 HR, 39 RBI, -0.8 WAR, 90 OPS+

Advantage: Delmon. The guy’s stats amaze me. It seems like he goes 0-4 on a given day and somehow gains two points on his batting average.

2. Likes

Boesch: Surfing, Icing bros, swinging at every pitch
Young: Booze, keeping it real, swinging at every pitch

Advantage: Push. There are no winners here.

3. Dislikes

Boesch: Taking pitches, playing defense, showers
Young: Taking pitches, playing defense, Jews

Advantage: Boesch. We do not condone being RAYCESS here at DesigNate Robertson. Unless it’s really funny.

4. Where They Came From

Boesch: Harvard-Westlake High School in North Hollywood, California. Then three years at the University of California, Berkley. Drafted in the third round of the 2006 Draft.

Young: Adolfo Camarillo High School in Camarillo, California. Skipped college to be the first overall pick of the 2003 Draft. (Adolfo…LOLZ)

Advantage: Young. Rogo respects when a brother gets paid.

5. Cost to Team

Boesch: $502,500, arbitration eligible in 2012, free agent in 2016.
Young: $6.75 million, free agent in 2013

Advantage: Boesch. Paying seven million for an OBP under .300 with zero defense should be a crime. Speaking of defense…

6. Defensive Ability Best Compared To

Boesch: A crippled tortoise on Quaaludes
Young: A blind bear on a unicycle

Advantage: Push. Nothing to see here.

7. Not Very Welcome In

Boesch: My household
Young: Tampa, Minnesota, New York, Isreal

Advantage: Boesch. No one cares what I think.

8. Famous Brother

Boesch: None. But has many guys he calls “Brah”.
Young: Dmitri!

Advantage: Delmon. Da Meat Hook forever, son!

9. The Ladies

Boesch: Swoon, squeal, and buy his shirseys
Young: Reach for mace.

Advantage: Boesch. The new Brandon Inge in Detroit.

10. Most Memorable Hit

Boesch: 4/30/10. His his first Major League home run, a grand slam, off Joel Pineiro.
Young: 4/28/06: With the Durham Bulls, got upset, threw his bat, and hit an umpire.

Advantage: Boesch. We do not condone violence here at DesigNate Robertson unless it is directed at Bill Simonson.

Overall: Boesch is your winner by a score of 5-3-2. Delmon, I actually prefer you to Brennan, but you can’t argue with the results.

Nice knowing you.

16 comments:

Joel said...

Id get rid of Boesch simply because we can send him down to the minors and not eat his contract like we'd have to if we cut Delmon.  If both aren't gone after the season, I'm gonna have a bit of a fit.

h2opolopunk said...

"6. Defensive Ability Best Compared To

Boesch: A crippled tortoise on Quaaludes
Young: A blind bear on a unicycle"

You win, Rogo. 

Anonymous said...

I still don't understand why you are such a supporter of Raburn, but hate on Boesch so much. Yeah he's struggling, but so is Raburn.

kalinecountry said...

I really think that the over riding factor that gets Tigers fans bullshit to extremes this year is the lack of defense, from these two players, and a couple others, Hi Ryan Hi Prince. I don't remember a Tigers team that has had so many errors, poor judgement, in fielding throwing to cutoff man, corner outfield or infield defense. So with what seems to be the league lead in 4 and 5 out innings, many Tigers fans are lashing out.
#6/#7/#10 got me rip snorting laughing.
 

Jay Hathaway said...

Looks like a good chance we may get Darwin Barney at 2nd, which would be awesome.  We'll see.  After that, I think we'll see a trade for a lefty starter, then maybe a corner outfielder.  Delmon or Brennan will likely go in one of these deals.

B Ward said...

Amazing as always, Rogo.

EightMileCats said...

 I think you have basically Darwin Barney in Ramon Santiago right now...
Both good with the glove.  Both meh with the bat.  Besides, I'm sick of hearing 'heart' and 'grit' to describe our second basemen. 
I'd love to see a LHP come in... but I don't know if there's one available thats worthwhile.  Hamels is gonna cost Castellanos and probably Turner...  for 2 months of Hamels.  Not worth it in my book.  The only way I let Castellanos go is for either J Upton (also Kate Upton) or Giancarlos Stanton.
Wandy Rod and Vargas just look like they'd get shelled here...  I'm not sure what we're gonna find for a pitcher, but we def need one. 

Personally, I'd like to see Infante come back to Detroit.  .283/.308/.446 and signed for next year at just 4 Mil (ish).  Maybe swing something with the fish for Brantly(he's blocked as is by Avila).  Altuve would be my first choice, but that's probably going to include Turner...  whom I'd rather trade for a pitcher.  Might even be able to get something decent without overpaying.  Maybe someone like Brandon McCarthy from the A's or Hellickson from the Rays (probably costly)

Jay Hathaway said...

 Yeah, Altuve would be tits.  I think Barney has more upside than Sneaky, but he is definitely "meh."  It's really just that I'd be happy to have a .275ish hitter with a good glove to anchor down 2nd.  It seems we are possibly in on Stephen Drew, but he is quite the health risk.  I'm definitely against Wandy and Vargas, because they have proven to be unreliable at times in the past (though I think Vargas has some potential left).  Also, Infante would be a nice addition, and I'm sure he wuld receive a warm re-welcoming.  I'd kick twenty asses to land Hellickson.

Jay Hathaway said...

 Yeah, there aren't many funnier mental images than a bear on a unicycle, especially a blind one.

EightMileCats said...

 Vargas' road split is scary...  very scary.  Away from SafeCo.  Home ERA .234/Away is over 5.  6 HR at home... 19 away.  He just scares me.  I'd double that for Hellickson... 

Rings said...

While BB has been a disappointment, his "most famous" hit IMO was his epic rain-soaked dinger to beat the Rangers last August...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jFUh5uEaMDU

tiger337 said...

I'm not as excited about this team as I should be either.  I still enjoy the games, but I find myself rooting for them just because they're the Tigers and not because I like the players especially.  It doesn't have the same feeling as the 1980s teams or the 2006 team.  It seems like a fantasy team made up of disconnected parts rather than a real team. I'm not sure what the reason is. 

ImperialStout said...

Darwin Barney leads the majors in defensive WAR.  Ramon is below average. Barney also would be a total offensive upgrade, and it's pretty significant if you look at the numbers...

.218/.302/.298
.270/.312/.379

One of these things is not like the other.  I'd take Barney over Santiago in a second.

Cabfielander said...

 I LOL'd so hard at that.

Sinnycal said...

I think if you get Barney, you play him at SS (his natural position) and slide Peralta to 2nd. Upgrade the defense on both sides of the middle infield while also improving the lineup. But I don't think the Cubs will give up Barney for what the Tigers will be willing to give for him. I've heard the term "mid level prospect" but I just don't see one of those from the Tigers system being enough value for the Cubs to give up a young, cost controlled major league starter playing gold glove defense. Only way I see Barney moving is in a blockbuster deal involving much bigger pieces on both sides.

Julian Miller said...

Such an awesome moment has to be ruined by it ending in the announcement of Don Kelly approaching the plate for what surely was a weak popup out.