Sunday, May 13, 2012

Your South Park Tigers


TIGER FANS: Rabble, rabble, rabble!

FAN #1: This team is awful!

FAN #2: Yeah! We were supposed to run away with the division this year!

FAN #3: Ryan Raaaayburn sucks!

FAN #1: Yeah! But CRIIIINGE is even worse!

FAN #3: Yeah! DFA Inge!

FAN #2: Release Inge!

TIGER FANS: Release Inge! Release Inge! Rabble, rabble, rabble!
BRANDON INGE: Oh, hamburgers.

(A short time later…)

TIGER FANS: Rabble, rabble, rabble!

FAN #1: Inge is tearing it up!

FAN #2: You shoulda kept Inge and released Raaaayburn!

FAN #3: Yeah! Release Raburn!
DAVE DOMBROWSKI: But they all wanted Inge gone a week ago, mmkay? Um, you should say something to them, mmkay?

JIM LEYLAND: Okay. People, people! Calm down. We’re just hitting a rough patch in the season. It happens every year. Sure, we’re disappointed that we’re only playing .500 ball right now. But keep in mind last year at this time our record was even worse than it is right now. And that turned out pretty good, right, Mr. Lamont? That’s right!

(More time passes…)
TIGER FANS: Rabble, rabble, rabble!

FAN #1: You betrayed Inge!

FAN #2: Your bullpen sucks!

FAN #3: Prince is too fat to play baseball! Where are the homers?

TIGER FANS: Rabble,rabble, rabble!
PRINCE FIELDER: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on ‘dere, children. It’s not easy coming from the National League to the American League. Ask Adam Dunn. Or even Albert Pujols. I’m doing my best and I’m usually a slow starter anyway. Things’ll turn around…
AUSTIN JACKSON: He’s right. Look at me! I’m doing well now. And I’m sure that the other guys will turn it around any day now!

FAN #1: We want Granderson back!

FAN #2: Yeah, worst trade ever!

FAN #3: Keep striking out, Austin!

AUSTIN JACKSON: But…but I’m hitting over 30 points higher than him. And playing better defense in center field. And striking out less…
DANNY WORTH: I’ve learned something today.

DON KELLY: Me too, dude. You’re never going to be able to please ALL the fans, no matter what you do. People today live in the now and want immediate results. They don’t care about last year, last week, or even next week. Just now. Being rational has nothing to do with it anymore. They want to win every game and there’s nothing we can do about it but do what we know. We know we’re going to struggle for time to time. But there’s still over three-quarters of the season to go.

DANNY WORTH: Yeah. We know we’re gonna turn it around. We just have to believe in ourselves, play as a team, and things will work themselves out in the end. Just like last year. And the fans will come around, too, eventually. Right, Ryan?
RYAN RABURN: …

DON KELLY: Oh my God, you killed Ryan! You bastards!
TIGER FANS: Rabble, rabble, rabble! Delmon Young sucks! Prince can't field! Get a new bullpen! Fire Leyland! Fire Leyland! Fire Leyland! Rabble, rabble, rabble…

10 comments:

Jimmy Bell said...

Uh-ma-zing.

To be fair tho, Leyland is doing some insane things lately that are driving me crazy.

politicophobia said...

Oh hamburgers, popsicle sticks and tiddliwinks

Tracy Babb said...

HAHAHA!!!  Yeah, I just saw a bunch of stuff on Facebook where people were going crazy about letting go of Leyland.  I'm not a huge Leyland fan, but people need to calm the heck down.  I'm not convinced either that he won't be let go by the end of the season, but it's freaking 33 games into the season.  

While we're at this game, I think the Patriots should have fired Belichick when they lost to the Bills in week 3 and weren't leading the division 20% of the way into the season....

Yeah, the best was when I came across the HUGE facebook page shortly after reading those comments and saw stuff that was even worse.

Oldenglishd said...

You took down the Magglio picture on your sidebar.  RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE...This site sucks.  You betrayed Magglio.  Always a Tiger!  You are a crappy writer who rips off other sites, better sites, RABBLE, RABBLE, RABBLE...

H2OPoloPunk said...

But the Miggy eye-patch pic is epic.

H2OPoloPunk said...

Nice work, Rogo. I LOLed.

Bob said...

LMAO!!!!

Jay Hathaway said...

Awesome

Justin W said...

this was funny. i heard the south park voices in my head as i read the article. nice work.

Wyliecoyote66 said...

EPIC WIN!  Ryan Rabum as Kenny = Outstanding!