Thursday, May 3, 2012

A Rod Allen Commercial Idea


I can’t get enough of Rod Allen’s Ace commercial. It’s hypnotic. I could watch it all day.

But after seeing it a dozen times, I have two questions. One, why doesn’t Rod just go to Heather Nabozny if he wants his lawn to look like a ballpark’s?  And two, why doesn’t Rod appear in EVERY commercial? I know I’d be much more likely to eat those stupid Dorito tacos if Rod was begging me to.

If you were around on Twitter the other day when this idea first sprung up, you know where this first one is going. If not, well, you’ll see. What if Rod did a commercial for…




DOCTOR:  Hello, Rod. What brings you into my office today?
ROD ALLEN:  Hey, Doc. My pahdner and I are flat out having issues with…well, let’s just say I’m not featuring the slide-piece that I used to. I was hoping you could be Johnny on the Spot and help me out.

DOCTOR:  I assume you’re talking about erectile dysfunction.

ROD:  You’re some kind of smooth, Doc. Yeah, the little fella is having problems becoming a big fella, on occasion. Call me crazy, but something might be wrong with my mechanics.

DOCTOR:  Actually, it’s a very common issue with men your age, Rod. With one Cialis pill, within minutes your problems could be solved.

ROD:  Wow! That should be a crime. Without question, you are the best in the business.

DOCTOR:  As is Cialis. Let me write you a prescription. However, if you experience any erection lasting over five hours, please report to the emergency room.

ROD:  Oh no, you didn’t, Doc. I’ll be taking a steady diet of those bad boys. B-A-D-D. I can’t wait to be firing seeds on all cylinders again. Thanks, Doc.

DOCTOR:  Sure thing. Anything else I can help you with?

ROD:  You’ve got that right. I’ve had some FILTHY, easy gas lately.

DOCTOR:  Well, that’s another commercial.

ROD:  I see ya, Doc!

(both laugh as commercial fades out)

11 comments:

Gas Man said...

This commercial should also feature Craig Monroe so Rod could break out his "I see ya C-Mon!"

Jay Hathaway said...

At the end of the day, this is the best post ever. We see ya, Rogo.

Jay Hathaway said...

He has a case of "Must-see E.D." 

Yeah, I went there.

Timothy Joseph Forbes said...

If this was the drinking game everyone would be wasted by the end of the commercial becuase the whole broadcast counts including commercials.

SRogo said...

 I am so pissed at myself for not coming up with this one.

Biff Mayhem said...

My dream commercial would be Rod going to Richard Bernstein for legal advice with Brian Peppers. The googley eye meter would be pegged. Pegged I tell ya'.

Mayo Smith said...

Got to make the little guy country strong.  Can never get enough Rod Allen.

H2OPoloPunk said...

Huh huh huh... "Rod"... "boner pill"... huh huh.

Quietadah said...

Oh my God, I wish I had thought of this first.  Well played, my friend!

Trout Jefferson said...

Damn, I saw the Dr. Cox picture and was hoping for a great Dr. Cox rant like 

"Nine pounds in a week!? Let me ask you a quick question: are you trying to make my head explode? Because you have no idea just how frustrating it is working your ass off trying to inflate a tiny little balloon inside someone's clogged artery. And all that a person has to do, really, is -- oh, I don't know -- go for a walk in the morning or choke down a fresh green salad. And you come back here looking like that!?! And I know, I know, here I'm supposed to be Dr. Give A Crap, but you wanna know the God's honest truth? And this is a fact -- you are what you eat, and you clearly went out and devoured a big fat guy, didn'cha!?"

Lost_in_sauce said...

Cialis: it'll get your sneaky power back.