I can’t get enough of Rod Allen’s Ace commercial. It’s hypnotic. I could watch it all day.
But after seeing it a dozen times, I have two questions. One, why doesn’t Rod just go to Heather Nabozny if he wants his lawn to look like a ballpark’s? And two, why doesn’t Rod appear in EVERY commercial? I know I’d be much more likely to eat those stupid Dorito tacos if Rod was begging me to.
If you were around on Twitter the other day when this idea first sprung up, you know where this first one is going. If not, well, you’ll see. What if Rod did a commercial for…
DOCTOR: I assume you’re talking about erectile dysfunction.
ROD: You’re some kind of smooth, Doc. Yeah, the little fella is having problems becoming a big fella, on occasion. Call me crazy, but something might be wrong with my mechanics.
DOCTOR: Actually, it’s a very common issue with men your age, Rod. With one Cialis pill, within minutes your problems could be solved.
ROD: Wow! That should be a crime. Without question, you are the best in the business.
DOCTOR: As is Cialis. Let me write you a prescription. However, if you experience any erection lasting over five hours, please report to the emergency room.
ROD: Oh no, you didn’t, Doc. I’ll be taking a steady diet of those bad boys. B-A-D-D. I can’t wait to be firing seeds on all cylinders again. Thanks, Doc.
DOCTOR: Sure thing. Anything else I can help you with?
ROD: You’ve got that right. I’ve had some FILTHY, easy gas lately.
DOCTOR: Well, that’s another commercial.
ROD: I see ya, Doc!
(both laugh as commercial fades out)