Thursday, April 5, 2012

The Nightmare That Was Opening Day in Detroit

The Tigers came away victorious today on Opening Day over the dreaded Wes Welkaah Nation Red Sawx, 3-2 on a walkoff single by Austin Jackson in the bottom of the ninth. AJax was awesome today and so were Jhonny Peralta and Justin Verlander. Jose Valverde’s consecutive save streak ended, yet he vultured a win when the Tigers walked off.

But you already knew all of that. What I’m here to tell you about is what you didn’t see today if you stayed home and didn’t attend Comerica Park for the opener like I did. How was it, you ask? Oh, I’ll tell you.

If I could pick one word to describe it, it would be “awful”.



I thought I knew what to expect coming in to today. I’ve been to two previous Opening Days and know that it is what I call “Amateur Hour”, kind of like going to a bar on St. Patrick’s Day. All the idiots are out and everyone’s number one priority is getting black out drunk as soon as possible. Those days are behind me and I had said that I’d never go to an Opening Day again.

That was until my boss got tickets and offered me one and a ride up there for free. Okay, I’m in. We left a little after 9am from Toledo and picked up three friends of his that were going. We were making excellent time until we got to the CoPa exit off 75 and it’s backed up literally for miles. We waited in that line for 45 MINUTES before deciding to head up the road a bit more and get off in Greektown. It was a good idea in theory, but we waited another half hour to get off at that exit.

We make it off the exit and there is NOWHERE to park. Every lot is full. We drove around for what seemed like days until finally just parking on a street a couple miles from the park in a ghetto somewhere. Wasn’t my car…I didn’t care. As I said, I’ve done two previous Opening Days and three playoff games in Detroit…I’ve never seen anything like this downtown. It was unreal. And every bar we passed is overflowing with idiots, beer bottles and cans are littering the streets…insane.

By this time, it’s 12:40, I missed out on meeting up with a friend of mine, and I’m just wanting to get to my seat. First, I had to piss. Before the game, there’s already a mile long line for the restroom. My biggest complaint about Comerica has always been the lack of men’s restrooms. It’s a nightmare and why I don’t drink at games since I have the bladder of an infant. Screw the new scoreboard, guys, build us a dozen more pissers, for crissakes. When I finally get into the restroom, two toilets already have “Out of Order” signs on them…on Opening Day. Brilliant.

Anyway, we were in Section 148, Row GG, which is in left field right under the new scoreboard. By the way, I have to admit that the new board is outstanding. Here’s a pic I took from behind the WAY TOO MANY standing room folks on the first base side of the stands.
Very nice. So we get to our seats and it’s freezing cold. I tried using my phone to access Twitter and can’t because of the CoPa’s insane invisible force field that makes most cell phones quit working. I wasn’t receiving texts either. Jerks.

They did the player introductions and I was surprised at the alarming number of boos that Brandon Inge received. I remarked, “It only took these assholes ten years to boo him?” Turns out, my boss’s friend’s favorite player is Inge and he’s next to me. So he starts yelling at me and I just wanted to kill everyone around me.

But who to pick? On my right were a pair of seemingly inbred drunks in their 30’s, I’d say. They spent the game yelling NON-STOP at every hitter on both teams. From deep left field. Awesome. For some reason, they thought Delmon Young’s name was “Deion”. They were obsessed with Kevin Youkilis and how he bounces at the plate. It was creepy. In the bottom of the second, they asked me who Boston’s pitcher was and then started attempting to taunt Lester loudly. Sorry, Jon. But their most annoying trait was one I’m sure you’ve dealt with before if you’ve attended a game in person. Every ball hit in the air, they thought was going to be a home run. Even foul balls hit back to the screen, they thought were coming right at them. These guys were unreal. And their slurring nonsense went on from the beginning of the game until the 8th inning. Remember that.

In front of me is this huge guy and his wife with an empty seat next to him. He took this as an excuse to sprawl out the entire game, and in doing so, kept putting his right arm behind the chair next to him…which was right in front of me. Now I’m 6’4 and have very long legs. So every time he did this, his hand and/or arm would touch my lap. Take a look.
Finally, I’m like “DUDE!” He stops and we start talking a bit. He was a nice enough guy and it turns out we were at one of the same playoff games last year. Two innings later, his hand is back in my lap. Thank goodness Comerica doesn’t allow us to bring in guns. But who could blame him? I have a very inviting lap, I guess.

Behind me is a pair of wasted women in their 40’s, I’d estimate. One woman had hiccups for the first two innings and I considered strangling her with my belt so I could concentrate on being annoyed by my other neighbors. When the hiccups ended, I endured her disgusting potty mouth for the rest of the game. You really have to be a classy broad to offend me with your mouth.

Also, there was the drunken bunny lady a few rows ahead of me. Randomly, she would get up and just start doing this awkward, swaying dance by herself at odd times. The best was when they were playing some really heavy rock song and she got up and started slowly moving to this fast guitar riff. Nutcases everywhere. Oh, and why is she the drunken bunny lady?
That’s why.

In the third, I got up to hit the Team Shop and get a new hat. I fought my way through the insane sea of people in standing room only and saw the longest bathroom line I’ve ever seen. It went from behind right field almost all the way to first base. Here’s a pic of part of it. Sorry for it being so blurry.
Walking past the immense line, there’s a Red Sox fan standing there and he says “You don’t see this kind of shit at Fenway.” I turned around and locked eyes with him and I swear he looked like he was pissing his pants. He actually started stammering out an apology to me when I put my arm around him and said “The bathroom nonsense is the worst part of this park, brother. Don’t worry about it.” He smiled, shook my hand, and thanked me. Pussy Red Sox fans.

At this point, a female security person was screaming back and forth with some drunk guys about something or other. She was threatening to eject them from the park while they took turns making comments about her breasts and calling her colorful names. I just kept walking and tried not to get involved in anything that would end up with me arrested.

As a fun aside, despite all the pregame booing, everywhere I went, I somehow had this sight in front of me…
I hate you people.

With two hats ($68), a program/yearbook combo ($15), and one bratwurst ($6!!!) purchased, I’m back in my seat and the game is moving along and JV is looking great. Then, around the fifth inning, a fight breaks out behind us. Two drunk kids in their twenties. An inning and a half later, another fight breaks out behind us. Two girls this time. I wish it had ended there.

In the ninth, the drunken inbred shitheads to my right got up and left. Awesome, I thought. But they were immediately replaced by two even more drunk kids in their 20’s. Security had moved them from their original seats for almost getting into a fight, one told me. Almost right away, they began trading insults with the drunk women behind us. To top this off, Jim Leyland put Don Kelly and Clete Thomas into the game at the same time because he hates me. Then Valverde did his blowup. Meanwhile, the slurring, cursing, insult-filled babbling continues next to and behind me until the bottom of the 9th.

So there Austin Jackson is, up at the plate, with the game on the line. I’m standing and clapping, hoping that the kid comes through after taking so much criticism last year. But to my right, I hear one of the drunk morons tell one of the drunk tramps to “Shut the fuck up you fat cunt!” Austin swings and so does the woman.

The Tigers walk off and the place is going nuts. Meanwhile the idiot and the woman are fighting and she’s landing blow after blow. Beer is spilled on me and guys are racing over to beat up the kid thinking he’s attacking the woman. I said fuck it and just got out of the stadium. For all I know, they killed each other. Outside, the streets were littered with cups, cans, bottles, and trash everywhere. I feel bad for whoever gets stuck cleaning up that shit…if anyone ever will.

We walked back to the ghetto, the car was amazingly still there, and we hit the highway back to Toledo. And got stuck in construction for over a half hour. When it rains, it pours.

The Tigers aren’t to blame for any of this, in my opinion (other than the bathroom nonsense). Sure, if the guys were telling me the truth, they should have been booted from the park instead of put next to me, but still, you can’t babysit 50,000 idiots. I blame the fans themselves. At my youngest and drunkest, I wasn’t as stupid as the assholes I dealt with today. And I only talked about a few of them here. There were so many rude, angry, horrible folks at the park today, I’m just thankful that I didn’t make the mistake of bringing my son like so many other fans were silly enough to do today. It was a miserable experience from beginning to end. Fuck you, Tigers fans.

But I was still smiling when I exited the stadium. We’re 1-0, after all. Undefeated, bitches!

So thank you Austin. You saved the day.

But I’m never going to Opening Day again. And I mean it this time.

77 comments:

Sparty2290 said...

In my opinion you should have to pass an exam to purchase Opening Day tickets as well as Play Off and World Series. At any game, but those especially I do not want to hear some flavor of the week ask her drunk boyfriend when Pudge is up to bat. 

You deserve a bronze star for sitting under the scoreboard, those seats are terrible at a normal game let alone opening day.

As for the scene outside Comerica, I'm a senior at MSU, I have weathered the tailgating storm, but Opening Day tailgating is a special kind of awful which makes you loathe alcohol and the Tigers "fans" it brings out. 

I'm going on Sunday, hopefully its a bit shall I say holier then. 

Lost_in_sauce said...

Wow, Rogo, that's depressing as all hell. I'm from central Virginia (borned and raised yeehaw) so I've never actually been to a game at the CoPa; is this the norm for the beginning of the season?

SRogo said...

Your Pudge comment reminded me of another thing. I heard one guy near us dressed in Tigers stuff ask his buddy why Cabrera was playing third. Do these people live under rocks?

Good luck, Sunday.

SRogo said...

Opening Day is always a mess. But I usually go to a dozen or so games a year and it's usually a great time. If you're a Tigers fan and you're up here, I highly suggest going. It's usually a great time and the Tigers staff members that I know are great people that want their fans to have a good time.

MonkeyWrench32 said...

This is why I've considered home game #2 to be the real Opening Day for quite some time. Yeesh.

Jeff (HighOPS) said...

In 2009 I had some great neighbors.  Since we don't use hat pins anymore I don't know why women and girls don't have to remove their hats during the national anthem, but they don't.  This drunk idiot starts screaming at my 13-year old to take off her hat as the anthem starts.  Regardless of your take on the gender-hat thing you would probably agree to two things:
1.  A drunk idiot screaming through the national anthem is more disruptive and less respectful than someone standing with their hand over their heart listening quietly while wearing a hat.
2.  30 year-old drunk idiots are never allowed to scream at a 13 year-old.

This was probably the closest I have been to a fight in my adult life.  His slightly less drunk friend intervened, stopped him and made enough excuses to settle my family down.

Of course neither of them stopped drinking.  Since my children go to public schools my wife and I discussed it and decided to remind them once an inning or so that there are adjectives and adverbs that do not begin with f, but to otherwise leave it be.

However, late in the game these guys decided to make a little wager.  And since the Tigers did not win the Central in 2009 it is a shame that the Royals did not win. Because had the Royals won, the drunker guy was going to fellate his friend in those very seats the last game of the season.  That would have made a good story.

Samuel McLean said...

I'll be there Saturday. I'm more than happy I didn't go today. What a shit hole it is on Opening Day. The scum of the Earth go to get drunk and nothing else.

Benny said...

Thats why I enjoy going to midweek games against the not so good teams (Royals, Orioles, A's, etc...). That way I usually don't have to deal with most of the drunken mob that you sadly see at games these days.

Grey said...

Opening Day is the absolute worst game to attend all year and it isn't particularly close, and I cannot be convinced otherwise. I've never dealt with people as awful and obnoxious as the people you dealt with, but I know they're there en masse. You have to get there two and a half hours early if you want to park in the same zip code as the stadium, everyone has been drinking since they woke up, nobody at the game really seems to care much about the game. It's horrible. I got lucky today in that the people I was sitting near were about as well-behaved as one could expect piss-drunk people to be, but I feel for you.

tigrrrrs said...

And this is why I will never go to opening day in Detroit ever again!

SRogo said...

Yikes. But you reminded me of another thing that annoyed me today. There were two women near us today with hats that wouldn't take them off during the anthem. I meant to cry about that, too. Annoys the hell out of me. Thanks for bringing it up.

Guest said...

I apparently was in your row, as I witnessed that woman on the landing throwing punches.  I stuck around briefly, as the cops showed up.  From what I could tell, the woman was claiming she "slipped", and I guess somehow punched the guy in the face.  

Russell White said...

The Opening day, St. Patrick's comparison is so right on.  

Thompson_B said...

I went to opening day back in '04 and I hated damn near ever moment of it. I will never go to an opening day again. I was at game 4 of the ALCS in '06 and it was one of the nicest games I ever been to. Everyone was nice; the people sitting next to my sister and I ACTUALLY introduced themselves to us and shook hands, same with Game 5 of the ALDS last year. I’m all for getting blacked out shit faced, but not at a ball game and ESPECIALLY not when I paid a small fortune at the ball game.

StJohnsPriest said...

I am the priest at the Church next to ComericaPark, corner Woodward & I-75. We spend Opening day chasing away drunks pissing and defecating on the building and gardens. It is fun early in the morning interacting with people. By 1pm the staff is mostly holed up in the building. I go to 12 to 14 games a year, mostly daytime ones, but Opening Day game....I'll pass. Today we had a 7pm service for Maundy Thursday and we still had drunks wandering around the parking lot.

SRogo said...

She's full of it. Cursing at people the whole game. I almost wish the kid would have decked her.

ABP said...

I love the Tigers, but I'm minutes from the Ballpark in Arlington and it has been great every time I've gone. This is a great story and one in which my wife's suspicions of Michiganders is reinforced. Sorry, guys!

ABP said...

Thanks for the post, good read! 

SRogo said...

Again, I've been to dozens and dozens of games in the past, including playoff ones. Today wasn't the norm. Usually, it's a great experience.

SRogo said...

But any adult that starts yelling at a child like that should be shot.

souleofthegame said...

We

Damian56xx said...

Last
Opening Day that I have ever attended was waaay back in 72, @ Tiger Stadium
40 looong years ago, when I was a sophomore in HS, and was still living
in the city of Detroit, when much of it was still comprised of pretty
decent, richly ethnic neighborhoods. I had a great time that day, but
was broke most of  that summer and didn't get to attend another
regular-season game that year. (I got my first job as a pump jockey that
fall) But I somehow scored tickets with a few of my friends to see Game
5 of the ALCS vs the Oakland A's. The Tigers, of curse, lost that game
and  the pennant by a close score of 2-1. But what I vividly remember
were the hundreds and then thousands of fans who, although the Tigers
lost, STILL busted down the OF fences and swarmed onto the field, as if
the Tigers had won instead, It was chaos and pandemonium, until security
and police (some mounted) managed to drive the thousands of unruly fans
back into the stands and off the field...lol....memories.

Sandra Dee Lee said...

 Wait, wait, what?  I'm a chick and I always take my hat off.  Is there really a thing where we women don't have to take off our hats?

Guest said...

It's a long standing tradition.  If you listen to the pregame announcement, it is something along the lines of "Gentlemen, please remove your hats.  Active military may leave their hats on."  There's no mention of women doing anything in that announcement.  

Kit Clement said...

I went solo and was able to snag a row 7 ticket in section 113, and I was among season ticket holders.  I didn't see much of this at all, thankfully.

Theknuckleator said...

This is an amazing post.  Hilarious yet sadly true.  Keep it up.

Spockmaster said...

Makes me glad my friend and I didnt try to get tickets after all. Thats awful.

Amber said...

I was in Disney World all day today, and so were about 2000 other Tigers fans. I'd say about 75% of Tigers tees had "INGE" on the back, and its a miracle any of them even knew it was Opening Day. 

I lost it at the "Cabrera plays third?!" comment... So sad, so true.

Baroque97 said...

I shall take this under advisement for all my Tiger-game-visiting plans in the future. Thanks for writing this.

Baroque97 said...

 I take my hat off if I can - but if I know it is going to be very windy I have it anchored with my ponytail and a couple of hairsticks so taking it off is a major production. Especially if my hands are full of food or a kid. :)

ccaruss said...

Opening day in Detroit is unfortunatley not about baseball, I can unfortunatley only afford the 28 game package, but insist that if I could afford a full season package I would make it to 80 of the games and sell my opening day ticket, yet each year by the time the game rolls around I'm so freaking excited that baseball is back I find myself takeing the day off and going down to the park

Grath said...

A buddy of mine came through with free Wings tickets last night.  10 rows off the ice, $92 great seats for free!  Of course, I can't pass that up so we headed down there right after work.  I'm not terribly familiar with that side of downtown, I'm more comfortable on the Greektown side of Woodward so I always take the Old Shillelagh shuttle to the Joe.  Besides, that shuttle is part of the whole experience.  Obviously, I knew it was opening day and I was prepared for a crowd but I wasn't prepared for how unbelievably drunk people were.  As soon as we stepped out of the parking garage elevator, our first sight was of a young girl, slack jawed, mouth hanging open, eyes completely unfocused, being carried by two guys with her feet dragging along behind her.  I didn't know where she had just puked but I was hoping not to find out.  Thankfully, I didn't find out but, somewhere in Greektown, there was a tore up bathroom.  Walking to the Old Shillelagh was like that scene in the Matrix where Neo sees the girl in the Red Dress, except that everyone was hammered.  I was bobbing and weaving like Ali in his prime.  Traffic lights had become meaningless as people shambled around like a scene from a low budget zombie movie.  Every bar on Monroe was jam packed and everyone was really celebrating.  It would have been a happy scene and I would have thought it was a good thing if everyone hadn't been so sloppy drunk.  Even as a young man with a bit of a drinking problem, I didn't see the attraction of getting that unhinged in public.  It was kind of sad and put a damper on the Tigers first win.  I wonder if next year we can close I-75 North and convince the Taylor Walmart to have a huge sale on opening day?  Just a thought.

Anonymous said...

My dad and I used to get tigers partial season packages for a few years, and they always had opening day tickets. My dad decided to take me one year. I was in fifth grade. The dude sitting directly next to me had obviously never been to a baseball game before, or had just drank away everything he'd ever learned about the sport. My day consisted of the guy complaining about the weather every five minutes (it was 40 and he was wearing shorts and no jacket), dropping random f bombs (why the f are those effers wearing green?)(to the vendors), annnd throwing up on my jacket. It was the worst experience I've had anywhere.

Jeff said...

I was at the game as well this year (I have made it to 2 of the last 3).  Sounds like you had some really bad luck.  Yes, the bathroom situation is awful at Comerica.  Yes, merchandise is extremely expensive.  I would recommend buying the same merch at Meijers for a third of the cost and grill your own brauts in the parking lot.  I agree on parking this year.  It seemed a lot worse than in years past.  I did not have the same issues with traffic but I was coming from a different direction. 

Opening Day is a great day for baseball and a great excuse for people to get drunk.  These are things we know.  I sat in section 118 row 7 and was surrounded by Season Ticket holders.  Some of the best fans in baseball.

I agree with other commenters.  Opening Day is more about the excitement of baseball returning and less about baseball (even though yesterday was a fantastic pitching clinic by both pitchers).

Personally, I will still go to Opening Day at Comerica Park every year I can.

Jeff

Urge_to_Splurge said...

You cannot make this stuff up, opening day around baseball is a freak show of all characters that come to get drunk and not even pay attention to the game.  I went to opening day at Yankee Stadium in 2010 and people were smoking weed in the bathrooms, people vomiting and pissing their pants in the bleachers.  I was disgusted.

Michelle3 said...

I had a similar experience last year in July in section 147. It was the game in which JV struck out 14. I don't usually sit in the outfield sections and I never will again if I can help it. It was full of extremely drunk, rude, foul-mouthed people who acted as if they were at a frat party and a baseball game just happened to break out during it. And the few times some people actually talked about baseball they had no idea what they were talking about!! Horrible place to sit if you actually want to watch the game. I'm just glad my 7 year old nephew was sick and had to miss the game.

Sweetness said...

It's Opening Day. What did you expect?

Norm said...

Love the post. I've been to every Opening Day in Detroit since 1999 and always tell people that it's the worst game of the season. All the drunks use it as an excuse to take the day off work and get wasted before most of us have had breakfast. I got very lucky this year, though. Other than parking in another zip


 code, the day went well. The people sitting in my section were true baseball fans. They actually knew the players by name and you could hear intelligent conversation such as whether or not Verlander really had command of his fastball or whether or not Prince fielder left a ditch when he slid into second. Here's a little hint that I'll probably regret passing out: If you hate lines for food or to use the bathrooom don't sit in the lower deck. The upper deck behind home plate is my favorite seat in the house. You never lose sight of the ball and the lines, even on the worst of days, are reasonable. All in all, the experience was far better than some of my others (which more closely resemebled this article). The one thing I take exception to in this article is the presumption that this kind of ridiculous behavior is a Detroit thing. I'm sure every city from New York to L.A. is going to have the same experience. People are stupid no matter where you go.

justanothersportsjunkie said...

So I guess the saying "You get what you pay for" is appropriate?

TT said...

Mr. Toledo -

I was not one of those people down there yesterday, however if I may make a suggestion to you for next year "STAY THE HELL HOME IN TOLEDO"  this is a great town for baseball and Comerica park is a wonderful experience the rest of the season. If you think Detroit is so different on opening day than most opening days across the country then try going the Bronx and experience opening day there. I am tried of you people trashing Detroit, if you don't like opening day and that kind of crowd "STAY HOME". 

WT said...

Brilliant.

Guest said...

Right on Norm, this type of behavior is not specifically a Detroit thing.  I suffered through last fall's nightmare loss between the Phillies and the Cardinals.  Sure the baseball made me nuts but the cursing, fighting, non-stop potty mouth just wore me out.  I may never go back.

Kevin C. said...

I would prefer people take their hats off during the anthem but if they keep it on so be it. No reason do act like a degenerate and curse somebody out, let alone a teenage girl. The Cabrera plays third comment made me laugh. It is amazing how unaware of things the phony fair wather fans are.

Kevin C. said...

Games against the Royals or A's are essentially "hassle" free. At least in my experience.

TramHOF said...

Maybe they could install a rule that if your bac is higher than Inge's batting average....you're denied entry.

Or resolving this argument...Who was better: Deivi Cruz or Shane Halter? Any answer that doesn't include neither results in denial.

Felix said...

New reader here. I agree that Opening Day brings out the worst of people. I live near Oakland and San Francisco, so I have experienced both crowds on Opening Day. I have to say going to Opening Day in SF is the WORST experience ever. SF is supposed to be a world class city with classy sophisticated people. They turn into drunks on Opening Day. Very rude, hostile crowd who dont pay much attention to the game.
Oakland which is as blue collar as Detriot, have the greatest well behaved fans I have ever been around. They are very friendly and knowledgable about the game. I'll go to Opening Day anytime in Oakland!

Thompson_B said...

TT, take a xanax and calm down.  Rogo never said Detroit wasn't a great town for baseball and he wasn't "bashing" the City of Detroit. As for the staying home part, I'm sure he'll take your advise and "stay the hell home in Toledo" for opening day for now on. By the way, Detroit does suck. If it wasn't for the Tigers, Wings and the highly overpriced concerts that come into in that burned out shit hole of a city, I would never go there.

syntrichia said...

Great and funny article. Love the site...just dicovered it through a sports link on NBC Sports. I haven't been to the new stadium (long-time Tiger fan from Ontario) but will now be prepared. I live in Vancouver and there is a very different kind of fan base here. Few fights, some bad drunks, but mostly an ignorant, quiet crowd that thinks a hockey game is a sushi party! They stand up anytime they want, mostly to talk on their cell phones! Go figure. I got so bored a few years ago, I stopped going.

Eric said...

why wouldn't you go there?  You don't like greek town, or the cool new resaurants and bars that are popping up or the small venues where local bands play, or the new art scene?  Detroit doesn't suck.  You suck.

Eric said...

I agree with the other parts of your post.  Rogo didn't really say anything bad about detroit, the tiger staff, or the people of detroit.  Just the idiots that can infest professional athletic events.

Flamestillburns said...

Because everyone in the north burbs are so classy and nice. Yeah...right...

clark east said...

My God man, how can you be such a freekin wimp?  It’s too cold. I can’t use my phone. I had to walk in a ghetto. I have to go poddy. There’s too many people. People are drinking and having fun. People are too loud. People are too fat. People boo too much. People cheer too much. Next time do us all a favor and keep your whiny, sissy ass home.

AJB said...

Funny writing but man are you a pansy. And the major issues could have been avoided by simply not being a moron.
1) Leave earlier for Opening Day.
2) Don't sit by the drunks.
Next year sit behind the dugout and get downtown before 10. Get into a bar/restaurant and chill out before the game. Very easy to have an awesome time like we did.

Anonymous said...

Dude don't say WE are 1 - 0 when you are an out of towner who comes into the city, complains and leaves. Root for the indians d bag. Lets not forget last year on the west coast a fan bashed another fans head in after their opening day game.

we're not DETROIT! said...

sounds like a typical Saturday afternoon Cubs game at Wrigley...
Tribe will take the Central.

CLFranks said...

I went to the game- knew there were going to be 50,000 in the stadium and another 50,000 out side.  Left fremont OHio at 7:30, pulled into the Renaisance Parking garage- Rode the people Mover, ate at Leo's for one of their hamburgers and got into my seat at 10:35 AM.  And had one of the best times of my baseball watching days. Didn't drink because I rode the DPM into Greektown and ate a delicious meal and went to the Red Wings at night.  Got home at midnight.  Awesome Job Detroit, this is one fan you can count on every year. If you like baseball, then one would have known how to plan and have a great time.  For the losers out there who whine, please stay home and root for the Indians- you deserve each other.

John said...

I'd have more sympathy for you if ever other word in this article wasn't fuck, shit or asshole.  Clean up your mouth and then you can complain about all the assholes at the game.

Calling it like it is said...

jesus. quit crying you baby.  you're one of those assholes who complains about everything, aren't you?

Jay Hathaway said...

 Detroit rules for lots of stuff, and Rogo was clearly not bashing the city at all.  I have sympathy for Rogo because both he and I worked waaaaayyy too long (well, at least I did) in bars, and years of drunken asshole amateurs wears a guy out, like the St. Patty's day folks he mentioned.  People are free to act as they wish, of course, but it doesn't mean they shouldn't be called out on their stupidity when it affects those around them.  Some people, when hammered, don't have that filter that tells them, "Hmmm, maybe it's not the classiest thing to be yelling 'cocksucker' with small children in the seats around me."  A lot of those same types of people were down in Toledo on Wednesday for the Hens-Tigers exhibition.  I saw 'em.  Those same types of people used to come into the bar I managed (right next to 5/3 Field) on opening day, and I of course would have to deal with multiple fights and other shenanigans by people who don't know how to "drink and have a good time," as you say.  Assholes are everywhere, yes, but I'm sure as hell glad we have people like Rogo around to let them know that they suck and tend to shit in everyone's cereal.

Jay Hathaway said...

 I occasionally make a special trip to Detroit just to walk around Greektown and enjoy the atmosphere.  Also, Jacoby's is my favorite bar/restaurant on Earth.

Jay Hathaway said...

 You've got to be a special kind of hammered to piss yourself in the bleachers.

Jay Hathaway said...

 How exactly does someone choose not to sit by the drunks?

Jay Hathaway said...

 At least at a sold-out game, that is.

Jay Hathaway said...

 Hahaha my buddy and I are big hockey fans, and he called me once from a bar in Vancouver (there on business), and said that the Canucks are about to lose (playoffs) and shit is ready to go down here! 

Jay Hathaway said...

 Was that in Philly?

Hoot said...

So...nobody was shot right? Thats a win is it not?

Bob139 said...

Like the shirt says, "Detroit.  You wouldn't last a day here." 

Chuck said...

 Do you live in Detroit?

Kev-O'B said...

Almost every time I go to a game I feel this way. Too many idiots and drunks, yelling bullshit. One timet about 5 years ago with my fiancee and her brother to a Tiger Yanks game. Her, her brother and his friend are sadly Yankee fans but the drunken idiots after the game started yelling bullshit at her which set myself and brother off. Very close to blows People are assholes what can I say

Fatty Arbuckle said...

Too perfect that your boss's friend is an Inge fan.

EightMileCats said...

Oh the irony...

EightMileCats said...

Apparently half these people don't read this blog frequently.  For those who still don't realize, this is a blog that is heavy on sarcasm and humor.  For those with an issue, you'll find the humorless, "just the facts" type of blogs around elsewhere.  Either find a sense of humor, and take it for what it is... or just go.

Tigers Fans said...

if u dont like detorit then go to a fuckin mudhens game u doosh

Michelle said...

I've been to the last 4 home openers, and this was, by far, the worst.  While I still had a blast at the game, it seemed like Thursday definately brought out the absolute worst in society.  And while I was drinking (rather heavily) myself, I couldn't beleive the number of people that were FALL DOWN drunk, just sitting in the concourse.  Terrible.
Oh, and I got the pleasure of being behind drunk bunny lady in line for the bathroom.  Unmitigated disaster.

love the blog, thanks for makin' me laugh :)

toledo is a useless city said...

um really?  did you call mommy too?

Anonymous said...

The funny thing is he probably lives closer to Detroit then some of you pansies complaining about him being from Ohio...shut the fuck up you whiny bitches! Rogo...this article is awsome, the funny thing is it's so true.

Brian said...

I'm pretty sure this was my favorite comment from all the newbies. Keep up the great work , Rogo!