Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Bad Nickname Ideas

The Tigers lost today. Quit blaming Leyland. As much as he sucks, don’t blame Schlereth. And Valverde’s not at fault, either.

Blame Justin Verlander. At 81 pitches entering the ninth, it was his game to put away. And he didn’t. It just fell apart on him. End of story. As much as we don’t like to believe it, JV is human.

Anyway, I’ve seen quite a few people trying to come up with a nickname for the current group of Detroit Tigers, especially for the duo of Miguel Cabrera and Prince Fielder. This is the type of thing that white people enjoy doing because we’re lame. Writer Dave Hogg has been pushing for “Thundercats” to be the unofficial nickname. Personaly, I don’t find that very original, but I can get behind it as long as we all agree that Don Kelly is “Snarf”.

But who am I to bag on a name if I don’t have anything better? Let me give it a shot at nicknaming Cabrera and Fielder…

The Bruise Brothers? No…boring.

Mig and Big? Weak.

Cabby and Flabby? Too mean.

Latino Mike and Cecil’s Tike? That’s forcing it a bit.

The Prince and the Bopper? Pauper/Bopper…no. Sorry.

Prince and the New Power Generation? Moving along…

Jack It and Tubbs? Tried for the Miami Vice thing, but it sounds perverted. And mean.

Fatty McGoo and the Venezuelan Monster? I love this one, but it’s kind of mean and not everyone watches “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia”.

Young MC and The Fresh Prince? I like this one, but I’m old and it’s probably stupid.

So yeah, I’m not very good at this stuff, I guess. Feel free to submit any ideas you might have. But as long as by the end of the season we’re calling all of them “World Champions”, I really don’t care what people come up with to amuse themselves now.


Russell White said...

Rake and the Fat Man?...Awful
Fuck Yo Pitchers?..Meh
James Westfall and Dr. Kenneth Noisewater?...To Plagiry 
Ahh I give up.

MonkeyWrench32 said...

The Basepath Cloggers - Inspired by Dusty Baker's idiocy

B Ward said...

"MC and the Hammer"

Jay Hathaway said...

 Motown Muscle
The Assembly Line (though this should refer to lineup as a whole)
Scotch and Cheeseburgers (ehhh, sorry)
Detroit Horsepower
The RBI Factory
Feel Free To Walk Us When You're Done Shitting Your Pants, Mr. Pitcher (ehh too long)

Grath said...

Pork and Beans?

Anonymous said...

I see ya Rod Allen!

Adam Dubbin said...

Miggs and the Fat Man?

/also old