Monday, February 6, 2012

2001 Tigers Video Breakdown

So I was at a bar in Dundee, MI at 10:00 Monday morning (don’t ask), and the bartender there was the third person to ask if I had seen the Clint Eastwood/Detroit commercial during the Super Bowl. No, I hadn’t. I didn’t pay much attention to the Football Yanks vs. Football Sawx game until the 4th quarter, but I watched it when I got home in the afternoon on Youtube.

It was okay, I guess. Eastwood’s in that category with people like Paul McCartney and Bob Dylan where if they come out and fart into a microphone, everyone will fall over themselves to tell you how great it is. Whatever. Personally, the entire time of the ad I was wondering if I was hearing Clint’s voice or that of Christian Bale’s Batman.

But while I was messing around on Youtube, I came across an eight minute video featuring the 2001 Detroit Tigers, as they were in town to play an exhibition against the Erie Seawolves. After the jump, take a look at it and afterwards, I’ll share my running thoughts on it.

0:06: Garner looked like he was throwing harder than Jonesey, didn’t he?

0:08: Weaver! Boooooooo! Oh…wrong one.

0:13: Jamestown Jammer? Sounds like an anal sex aid used by the pilgrims. Also, dude spelled Jamestown wrong here.

0:22: Nedset catching? Which coach or scout’s kid was he?

0:30: Oh, look. It’s our little Brandon and he’s a rookie wearing #12! Back then he was still a 2nd round pick with a future. It only took another eleven years for the majority of the fanbase to realize how awful he is.

0:45: Wow, Brandon wasn’t as charming back then, was he? Monotone and insincere. Like me! Yay, Young Brandon!

1:25: Yeah, Brandon loves switching positions. What an athlete.

1:40: Was that a shot of Inge scratching his ass?

1:52: Dean Palmer winning a home run derby. Without hurting himself. Amazing. Then again, he’d only play in 57 games in ’01 and his career was all but over after that. Home Run Derby’s are evil. Just ask Inge.

2:10: Wow. That announcer they had there went to the Joe Buck School of Enthusiasm.

2:34: Is Robert Fick stoned here? Seriously.

3:25: Fick stinking it up? Say it isn’t so. (Actually, Fick would be pretty good in ’01 and ’02. Hard to believe he turns 38 next month.)

3:57: Fick had a cult? Is Clete Thomas aware of this?

4:45: Really? His enthusiasm? Dude is baked.

4:56: Eight kids? Mama Fick loves the cock.

5:17: Fick says going to Toledo stunk. Preach on, brother. Try living here.

5:45: Fick’s a baseball fan. Great. Would NO ONE ELSE talk to this guy? Geez…

5:53: Robert doesn’t care about Michigan State. Chris Vannini weeps somewhere.

6:09: Weaver again. What the hell…BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

6:14: Oh my GOD! It’s BOBBY! It’s really him!

/pants off

6:21: Not sure, but I think he just told someone to eff off. Oh, I loved that man. A charmer.

6:30: Editing is for pussies.

6:46: C’mon, Jamestown! You can cheer better than that! Bobby hadn’t even gotten old, hurt, and shitty yet. Jerks.

6:56: Billy McMillon hit 5th and was our DH. And you people today have the balls to bitch about a platoon at second base.

7:11: Shane Halter. LOL. I hated him.

7:23: Catcher from shortstop. Later, third base from catcher. Then Toledo from Detroit.

7:46: A single to right. That would be the last time Brandon would ever take the ball the other way. That’s why he sucks.

8:02: And we end on a successful Inge. Adorable.

Interesting video. It needed more star wipes to make it a classic, though.


Derek Schwanger said...

Rogo, It's been eleven years.They STILL DON'T REALIZE HE'S TERRIBLE!!!!!

H2OPoloPunk said...

You totally lost me dude.

Julian Miller said...

I thought Robert Fick was Don Kelly at first.

Kevin C. said...

Being my typical boring self I did some research and discovered that Mike Rivera hit 33 bombs that year for Erie (did not know he had pop, shame it stayed in the minors). Eric Munson had a typical Munson minor league season, lots of homers, walks, and strikeouts. And on the pitching side, Nate Cornejo was the team ace with a 12-3 record and 2.68 era.