Friday, January 20, 2012

Meanwhile...in the Dominican Republic

This entry is dedicated to each and every Indians fan that chose to mock me about the unfortunate injury suffered by Victor Martinez.

(Meanwhile…in the Dominican Republic…)
OFFICER PEREZ: Wow! I can’t believe you kids managed to catch the dreaded Dominican Swamp Monster! This demon has terrorized us for months! Gracias, my new friends.
FRED: Hey, glad to help! Right, gang?

VELMA: Just another day in the life of the Scooby Doo Detective Agency!
SWAMP MONSTER: Roaaaar! Grrrrrr!

SHAGGY: Zoinks…let’s get away from this thing! I’m hungry. Can we get something to eat now?

SCOOBY: Reah!

DAPHNE: First, we need to see who he really is!

FRED: Right!

/tears off mask



FAUSTO CARMONA: Nooooooooooooo!

VELMA: Jinkies! It’s Fausto Carmona of the Cleveland Indians!

DAPHNE: I didn’t know they still had a team.

CARMONA: I can explain! It was…Hafner! That roided-up gringo put me up to this!

OFFICER PEREZ: Save it, Carmona. You can tell your story down at the station.

VELMA: Jinkies…look at his neck! There’s some stitching there…I think this is another mask!

SCOOBY: Ruh roh, Raggy!

FRED: You’re right, Velma! Let’s take a look…

/tears off second mask
ROBERTO HERNANDEZ HEREDIA: Shit.

OFFICER PEREZ: Oh my! It’s Old Man Hernandez Heredia! This man is wanted for several crimes against the Dominican people going back sixty years! And now, I imagine, for embezzling multiple millions of dollars from the Indians and being terrible along the way!

HEREDIA: Yeah, (wheeze) and I woulda gotten away with it if it weren’t for you (groan) darn meddling kids and your dog! Oh…my arthritis…

OFFICER PEREZ: Great job, kids! The Dominican police will take it from here!

FRED: All right, gang! Let’s catch some rays and have some fun!

SHAGGY: Don’t forget about the great Dominican cuisine!

SCOOBY: Reah! Scooby Doobie Dooooooooooooooo!

2 comments:

Derek Schwanger said...

Brilliant. I didn't know they still had a team. Ha.

Pawsdeep said...

Fuck Cleveland. They can't even keep their home town boys in that shothole of a city. cLEAVEland. No one with a god damn brain would willingly stay in that piece of garbage.