This entry is dedicated to each and every Indians fan that chose to mock me about the unfortunate injury suffered by Victor Martinez.
(Meanwhile…in the Dominican Republic…)
OFFICER PEREZ: Wow! I can’t believe you kids managed to catch the dreaded Dominican Swamp Monster! This demon has terrorized us for months! Gracias, my new friends.
FRED: Hey, glad to help! Right, gang?
VELMA: Just another day in the life of the Scooby Doo Detective Agency!
SWAMP MONSTER: Roaaaar! Grrrrrr!
SHAGGY: Zoinks…let’s get away from this thing! I’m hungry. Can we get something to eat now?
SCOOBY: Reah!
DAPHNE: First, we need to see who he really is!
FRED: Right!
/tears off mask
FAUSTO CARMONA: Nooooooooooooo!
VELMA: Jinkies! It’s Fausto Carmona of the Cleveland Indians!
DAPHNE: I didn’t know they still had a team.
CARMONA: I can explain! It was…Hafner! That roided-up gringo put me up to this!
OFFICER PEREZ: Save it, Carmona. You can tell your story down at the station.
VELMA: Jinkies…look at his neck! There’s some stitching there…I think this is another mask!
SCOOBY: Ruh roh, Raggy!
FRED: You’re right, Velma! Let’s take a look…
/tears off second mask
ROBERTO HERNANDEZ HEREDIA: Shit.
OFFICER PEREZ: Oh my! It’s Old Man Hernandez Heredia! This man is wanted for several crimes against the Dominican people going back sixty years! And now, I imagine, for embezzling multiple millions of dollars from the Indians and being terrible along the way!
HEREDIA: Yeah, (wheeze) and I woulda gotten away with it if it weren’t for you (groan) darn meddling kids and your dog! Oh…my arthritis…
OFFICER PEREZ: Great job, kids! The Dominican police will take it from here!
FRED: All right, gang! Let’s catch some rays and have some fun!
SHAGGY: Don’t forget about the great Dominican cuisine!
SCOOBY: Reah! Scooby Doobie Dooooooooooooooo!





2 comments:
Brilliant. I didn't know they still had a team. Ha.
Fuck Cleveland. They can't even keep their home town boys in that shothole of a city. cLEAVEland. No one with a god damn brain would willingly stay in that piece of garbage.
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