Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Does Alan Trammell Belong in the Hall of Fame?

If it weren’t for my irrational love for a guy named Bobby Higginson, Alan Trammell would be my favorite baseball player of all time. Like many others that started watching Tigers baseball in the 80’s, Trammell became my childhood hero. He was good with the bat, arguably better with the glove, and was a class act in the D for 20 seasons. When I was a kid in Little League, I wanted to BE Alan Trammell. Sadly, I was too fat and untalented. I had to settle for being Barbaro Garbey.

Point is, Trammell was THE MAN to Young Rogo and other Tiger fans back then. In many fans’ eyes, he still is the symbol of excellence in Tiger history, the way fans of the ‘60’s Tigers look at Al Kaline, and the way chubby dumb girls of today look at Brandon Inge. I mean, what Tiger fan of that era doesn’t have fond memories of Tram and his double play partner, Lou Whitaker?

And now, once again, tis the season for the yearly Hall of Fame voting. Already, I’m seeing cries for Trammell to be inducted into Cooperstown in his 11th year of eligibility and it makes me feel like a bad fan. Why?

Because I’m one of the few (if any) Tigers fans that just doesn’t believe Alan Trammell belongs in the Hall.

Why is that? Let me count the ways.

Monday, November 28, 2011

Aborted DNR Post Ideas

I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve written a lot of brilliant questionable/silly/stupid material the past couple years on this site. But it’s not like I’ve gone with EVERY idiotic idea that’s entered my peanut-sized brain. No, many an idea has been tossed into the scrap heap for the better of mankind, no matter how bad my writer’s block gets at times.

The following is a list of such ideas that are probably better off not being fully realized.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Gr8: #2 Alex Avila, Titanium Catcher

The “Great Eight of 2011” will be a look at the eight Tigers that impressed me the most in 2011. The order I am choosing these players in is not necessarily who the best overall player was. No, these guys are simply the ones that made me say “wow” more than anyone for whatever reason.

If before the 2011 season you would have told me that the Tigers’ catcher would hit .295/.389/.506 with 19 homers and 82 RBI, I would have responded, “Wow, V-Mart’s not going to hit .300? That sucks.”

But no, we’re not talking about Victor Martinez. We’re talking about Alex Avila who surprised everyone with his breakout season as the Detroit starting catcher this year. I thought it was foolish to hand the starting job to a guy that hadn’t earned it and/or proved he could handle the job. But Your Party Host (and I wasn’t alone, dammit) was thankfully wrong as Avila showed that he has the stuff to be one of the top catchers in all of baseball for years to come.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

A Thanksgiving Feast at the Inges'

BRANDON INGE: Golly, kids! Look at this spread your mom whipped up for us! It’s a shame she was so determined to get out there for the Black Friday sales, huh? Haha, oh well, she loves her shopping! That’s why Daddy’s gotta keep playing ball on his wrecked up knees, right?
CHASE INGE: Daddy, is Mommy a gold digger?

TYLER INGE: Do you secretly hate Mommy?

BRANDON: Gosh, no, kids! Wow, your imaginations are out there! Haha…sigh. Well, boys, don’t fret. We’re not gonna be alone this Thanksgiving because some of Dad’s best buddies said they’d be stopping by! Heck, we’re gonna have a grand old time! Not like we can eat all this super grub ourselves!

CHASE: Uncle Sheff’s not coming, is he?

TYLER: He always asks us for money.

CHASE: And calls Mommy a stank ass ho.

TYLER: What’s a stank ass ho, Daddy?

BRANDON: Um, don’t worry about it. And no, Uncle Sheff won’t be coming. He hates Daddy because Daddy is still employed. No, some of our less fortunate friends that didn’t have anywhere else to go will be coming over. In fact, I think I hear a car door now! Be on your best behavior, kids!

/door shoots open

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Ingraham Defends Self Poorly Over Non-JV Vote; I Respond

After the announcement yesterday of Justin Verlander winning the MVP, I wrote about my disgust over one voter, Jim Ingraham from Cleveland, completely leaving JV off of his ballot. I remarked that I anxiously waited for him to write a piece defending himself, which to his credit, he spent little time in getting online.

Was I too hasty? Did Jim say anything worthwhile to defend himself in naming ten other AL players over Verlander as most valuable?

No. He didn’t. Read on.

Monday, November 21, 2011

JV Wins MVP, But That's Not What Makes News

Progressive Field, home of the Indians, is an amazing ballpark. In fact, it is my favorite stadium that I’ve had the pleasure of watching a Major League ballgame at, beating out Comerica Park, Tiger Stadium, The Great America Ballpark in Cincinnati, Miller Park in Milwaukee, and The Rogers Center in Toronto (in no particular order).

So there. Don’t say that I never said anything nice about Cleveland. Because I’m not going to for the rest of this piece.

Justin Verlander won the AL MVP today, picking up 13 of the 28 first place votes, overall. Good for him, as he was amazing this year and I’m proud and honored that he plays for the Detroit Tigers. Personally, I had him third after Jose Bautista and Miguel Cabrera. So I wasn’t going to throw a fit if he didn’t win.

But what amazes and pisses me off is that one guy, Jim Ingraham of Cleveland’s News-Herald, left him off of his ballot completely. How is it that a guy with the honor/responsibility of casting something as important as an MVP vote could leave the eventual winner off of his ballot? Are there really ten more valuable players in the American League than Justin Verlander to Ingraham?

No. Of course not, unless he’s a complete moron. But Ingraham is making this about himself and his opinion that a pitcher shouldn’t be eligible for the MVP. Never mind that pitchers ARE eligible for the award. Jim just thinks they shouldn’t be, so he decided to be the guy to try and screw Verlander out of the award in case the other voters disagreed with him. How mature.

Let’s hear from the man himself.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Think You're Smarter Than Me, Jerk?

Well, you probably are. I am what the Ancient Greek philospher Fred Sanfordfoles referred to as a "big dummy".

But I found this quiz over at sporcle.com where you are challenged to name the players that made up the Opening Day starting lineups for the Tigers from 1991-2010 within 15 minutes. It's quite fun if you're a Tiger nerd such as myself. So click that link, give it a try, and see how you do. No cheating, jerks! Then come back and compare to how Your Party Host did after the jump.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

The Tigers Get Their Money Back

(Detroit Tigers headquarters, Detroit, MI)
DAVE DOMBROWSKI: Um, you wanted to see me, sir?
MIKE ILITCH: Indeed I did, Donald.

DOMBROWSKI: It’s David, sir.

ILITCH: Right. I think you have some explaining to do.

DOMBROWSKI: I do? I’m sorry, sir, I don’t understand. I thoroughly inspected the trunk of your car like you requested. No vampires were found. Again.

ILITCH: Not that, you buffoon. I’m talking about the man in my office. I can’t believe you let him back into our organization.

DOMBROWSKI: The man in your office? You haven’t been speaking to the ghost of Billy Martin again, have you, sir?

ILITCH: Don’t talk to me like I’m a moron, Douglas. Take a look for yourself.

/opens office door

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Realistically Projecting the 2012 Tigers Roster

I touched on this recently in regards to my opinion that Jose Reyes is not an option for the Tigers, but I thought I’d expand on it and throw my two cents in on the 2012 roster. Everyone else is doing it…why not Your Party Host? Let the rosterbation (TM Kurt Mensching) begin!

So let’s explore who’s in place, who is needed, and whether or not there’s any money out there to pay for them. We have a 25 man roster to fill. Let’s begin.

I Love Being Right

Yesterday, I said the following about Don Kelly receiving the first EVER Tigers' Tenth Man Award from the mysterious Detroit Baseball Society:

"I can only assume that the DBS is a fictional group concocted by the Detroit media to give their best friend Kelly even more unneeded press."

I received an anonymous tip that led me to this page.  No, the DBS is not fictional.  But how did they originally form?  Let me save you the trouble of reading though it all.


The Detroit Baseball Dinner gave birth in 2003 to The Detroit Baseball Society, which is devoted to year-round activities and conviviality among those who love baseball in Detroit.

Detroit Baseball Dinner?

Conceived in 2001 by Detroit News sports writer Lynn Henning, The Detroit Baseball Dinner brings together local baseball fans – men and women alike -- team figures, media, and those with a deep appreciation for the game in an atmosphere heavy on festiveness and friendship.

You see?!?  This is all that rat bastard Henning's fault!  Of COURSE he started all this and now his best buddy Don Kelly is getting an award they CREATED JUST FOR HIM!

/pulls remaining six hairs out

I pray every night that I wake up a fan of a different team.  It never happens.  Dammit.  Stupid Tigers fanbase making me want to kill everyone...

Oh, for the ten of you Tiger fans out there that aren't a nutjob, a real post will be up in the next 24 hours about the roster.  I promise.  Thanks...

Monday, November 14, 2011

I Am Surrounded By Crazy People

I haven’t gotten angry in a while. My bad. This changes today.

The more time I spend reading other people’s opinions on the Detroit Tigers online, the more I realize that I (like Jack on “Lost”) am among you, yet I am not one of you.

Because I’m becoming more and more convinced that the majority of Tiger fans are escaped mental patients.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Gr8: #3 Justin Verlander, Human Cyborg

The “Great Eight of 2011” will be a look at the eight Tigers that impressed me the most in 2011. The order I am choosing these players in is not necessarily who the best overall player was. No, these guys are simply the ones that made me say “wow” more than anyone for whatever reason.

Whoa, whoa, whoa…Miss Lippy. Number three? How in the name of Norm Cash’s nutsack can Justin Verlander be only #3 on a list of 2011’s most impressive Tigers? Rogo, have you gone cukoo? Nutso? Bonkers? Another 1940’s slang word for f’n crazy?

No. JV was excellent. I was just personally more impressed by two other guys on the team this year when I looked at the big picture. But we’ll get to those guys later. Because nothing can and/or should take away from the amazing year put together by the greatest pitcher I’ve even seen in a Tigers uniform, Justin Brooks Verlander.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Gr8: #4 Jose Valverde, Perfecto

The “Great Eight of 2011” will be a look at the eight Tigers that impressed me the most in 2011. The order I am choosing these players in is not necessarily who the best overall player was. No, these guys are simply the ones that made me say “wow” more than anyone for whatever reason.

You can call him overrated, if you want. Many people feel that closers are. While you’re at it, you can probably call him overpaid, too. Go ahead. You can also call him lucky, I guess. Feel free. But you can also eat a poison-tipped dildo.

Because in regards to the 2011 season, I’m just going to call Jose Valverde perfect.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Gr8: #5 Doug Fister, The Steal From Seattle

The “Great Eight of 2011” will be a look at the eight Tigers that impressed me the most in 2011. The order I am choosing these players in is not necessarily who the best overall player was. No, these guys are simply the ones that made me say “wow” more than anyone for whatever reason.

When your team goes looking for an impact starter to add to their rotation at the trade deadline for the stretch run, you might initially think that getting a guy with a 3-12 record wouldn’t be the best of strategies.

But the acquisition of Doug Fister in 2011 by the Detroit Tigers is the greatest example ever that a win-loss record is the last thing you should be paying attention to when evaluating a pitcher. Somewhere Joe Morgan weeps.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Gonzalez Beats Cabrera for Silver Slugger. What? What?

SILVER SLUGGER VOTER: No, no…I just want you to know…I just want you to know how sorry we are that things got so messed up with us and Mr. Cabrera. We got into this thing with the best intentions and I never…

/man on couch gets shot
JULES: I'm sorry, did I break your concentration? I didn't mean to do that. Please, continue, you were saying something about best intentions. What's the matter? Oh, you were finished! Well, allow me to retort. What does Miguel Cabrera look like?

SS VOTER: What?