Here's a look at Game Five by the numbers.
2: Innings by Ivan Nova before leaving the game with a strained vagina.
2: First inning homers by the Tigers. One by Delmon Young, his third of the series, and one by some other guy I can't remember.
1: One apology for Don Kelly for crapping on him all the time. Awesome job lifting it 250 feet into the right field Yankee stands, Donnie. I would like to take credit for motivating you with my constant reminders of how terrible you are. You're welcome, Tiger fans.
23: Total texts and tweets I received mocking me after Kelly's homer. I'll take it.
3: Strikeouts in the game by Kelly. Yeah he came through in the first. But he still shouldn't have been hitting second. Bite me.
1: Hit by Victor Martinez. But it drove in the game winner and was just another in a long line by the greatest free agent signing the Tigers have made in forever. Remember...it came down to him or Adam Dunn. I think DD made the right choice.
7: Number of minor strokes and heart attacks I had during this game.
.455: Batting average in the ALDS for Magglio Ordonez, a man who considered retirement earlier in the year and a man who several Tiger fans wanted released this year. Don't bench him again, Jim.
.111: Average for A-Rod in the ALDS. Hahahahahahahahaha...
8: Number of idiots dancing like morons after strike three on A-Rod at the party where I was watching the game. Hopefully, none of it ends up on YouTube.
Not Sure: Number of beers consumed tonight. Sorry for any typos.
1: Number of tumors on Joaquin Benoit's face.
"It's not a tumor!"
1.2: Huge innings pitched by Benoit tonight. Sure, he walked in a run. But he got the job done.
3: Up and 3 down for Jose Valverde in the 9th. Dance, fatty...dance.
$9 million: Option for Valverde that had BETTER be picked up in the offseason.
Millions: Of tears shed by Yankee fans tonight. I wish I could taste them all. Jerks.
8: Wins to go for your Tigers to be World Champions.
Enjoy this one, kids. We start all over on Saturday. Bring on the Rangers.