Friday, October 14, 2011

Brain Farts from @PhilCokesBrain, Vol 4: Playoff Edition

How can last night's victory over Texas get better? Easy...a submission from everyone's favorite Twitter portal into the mind of last night's closing pitcher, @PhilCokesBrain.

Be sure to follow @Phil, but don't ask him for autographs. He's a very busy brain.

Wow, what a big night for your favorite ginger! With Joaquin and Jose completely spent we all knew who was going to get the call. That's right, Justin for about 150 pitches.

Well, Skip defied wisdom and called on yours truly. For some reason the first couple outs came super easy. After that they seemed to take some time. For two batters things were shittier than a Brian Wilson taco commercial.

I thought maybe it's because I'm over thinking the situation, then I thought I was over thinking my thinking about over thinking the...wait...I have no idea what's going on. Anyway, I closed out the game LIKE A BOSS. I even fielded some dribblers without twisting my ankle or wrecking my extra foot bone.

After the game I was interviewed by Yogi's little friend Boo-Boo. All in all it was almost as good as that day I found those Ding-Dongs I had forgotten in my coat pocket.

Some other stuff happened in the game too!

-Victor hit a triple without a pinch runner proving just how large Comerica Park really is.

-Delmon hit NOT ONE but TWO doses of anti-inflammatory. Does Magglio win the MVP of this series? We definitely caught a break with his situation.

-Alex caught another fantastic game and hit a home run! He's married so he's used to dealing with nagging problems.

-Cabrera smacked the third base bag with a hit for a double. It was payback for the bag tying weights to his ankles before last night's tag play

-Brad Penny warmed up for about 15 minutes next to me in the bullpen. I'm sure those 3 pitches weren't that taxing for him though.

-Playoff Hero Ryan Raburn hit a home run after being inspired by the plight of Hank Williams Jr.

-Austin struck out four times but, to be fair, it was only because he got four at bats.

Well, now we are heading back to Texas, man. We are going to fight and claw and scratch and passive-aggressively back bite until we get the job done or we have no more functioning obliques.

Later man,



jason said...

Almost as funny as Rogo's stuff.  I am happy for Phil that his work put him in this kind of mood.  Or bored enough on the trip to write, either way.   Calling that freak Rosenthaw (sp) Boo Boo is the greatest thing I've read since "Charlette's Web" in 1992.  Bow Ties are for midgets, circus clowns, and followers of the Farrakahn. 

SonataArctica said...

I am actually quite impressed with Brian Wilson's commercial.  He doesn't suck as bad as most baseball players.  Remember Jonathan Papelbon in that one shaver commercial?