Friday, September 30, 2011

Rainy Day Thoughts

So Game One has been postponed until tomorrow due to a monsoon. Reason #7498 why New York sucks.

Here's a few scattered notes from the inning and a half of baseball we did get to see.

-I was fully prepared for this game. I haven't shaved since Detroit clinched in Oakland. They playoff beard is coming in obnoxiously. I also had on the bootleg 2006 AL Champs shirt that I bought from a strange man on the street outside the Copa after the Magglio homer game. Much like my hopes and dreams, the shirt is faded and should have been discarded long ago. In addition, I told my 7 year old that if he bothered Daddy while he was watching baseball, I would drown him in the toilet. To be this ready for a game and have it cancelled...well, it just plain sucks.

-Nice to see Johnny Damon and Matt Joyce come through for Tampa in their destruction of Texas today. Good men...and thorough.

-TBS has John Smoltz in the booth. Dicks.

-The TBS announcers called the Game One Tigers starters a "rebuilt lineup", despite only V-Mart and DY being new to this year's roster. This was the first sign that they had no idea who the Tigers even were tonight.

-Magglio Ordonez came up and the announcers talked about Leyland going with power in the two-hole, despite Magglio having the homer strength of David Eckstein nowadays.

-After Little Dmitri hit an "only in the Bronx" homer off of CC, Big Mig came up to "DUI" chants from the classy, drunken guido crowd. New York is the worst city on the planet.

-Jeter struck out because he's awful, but the ball bounded so far away from Avila on a passed ball that Gene Lamont could have beaten the throw to first. The TBS announcers immediately start gushing about Jeter's hustle. Later, they'd compare it to Magglio striking out and the ball rolling three inches away from Yankee catcher Russell Martin and insinuated that Jeter made it to first due to hustle while Magglio didn't. The TBS crew can get fucked with a cricket bat.

-Granderson came up to MVP chants and the announcers calling him a possible MVP. He hit .262 this year. If he were an Oriole, no one would know his name. Sorry, CJ.

-Jeter scored on a groundout to third by A-Rod. The ball handcuffed Inge and he took the sure out at first. The announcers said that "no one is better at moving on contact than Jeter". I assume they found that stat at baseball-reference.com. At this point, I began missing Joe Buck and Tim McCarver calling a game. Yes, it was that bad. If Minka sucked Jeter's cock the way TBS did tonight, they would still be together.

-The Yankees were VERY patient with Verlander in the first inning and drew two walks. JV getting squeezed by the ump didn't help either. I hate always being right.

-The rain started getting bad and the cockroach Yankee fans all began fleeing their thousand dollar seats. This amused me greatly.

-In the top of the second, the TBS clowns actually said that it was raining lighter for the Tigers turn at bat than the Yankees turn. Obviously, this wasn't the case as Ryan Raburn couldn't even see up there. They finally admitted that it was raining harder. Morons. Of course, they waited for Ryno to K before putting the tarp on the field.

That's about it. TBS is awful. There's less oral in pornos than in the verbal fellatio they were giving the Yankees tonight. The weatherman they had in NY that said the rain would be light is even worse. This was an abortion tonight and the downpour isn't supposed to let up tomorrow. The money-hungry jerks running the show should think about this stuff when they schedule these games to start at almost 9pm to maximum prime time revenue on ads.
I'm not a happy camper...

4 comments:

Kev-O said...

It's times like tonight I'm thankful I was in a crowded sports bar and couldn't hear the announcers, because I can definitely hear everything you're saying coming outta their mouths.

Justinr74 said...

Yankees fans are definitely scum.  NYC has some good aspects.  Best line: "If Minka sucked Jeter's cock the way TBS did tonight, they would still be together."

Jbeckman said...

And this is why I turn off the sound and listen to the radio. Keeps the blood pressure down. I don't need to listen to the TBS guys to know they're worthless.

H2OPoloPunk said...

That's what I'm doing next time.