Tuesday, August 23, 2011

ESPN Mentions Tigers...Gets Things Wrong

Today while driving around looking for an hooker old lady to kill help across the street, I flipped to ESPN radio and they surprised me by announcing they were going to talk about a pitcher’s chances at winning the MVP award. Of course, this meant they would surely be talking about Justin Verlander and this made me smile since it’s so rare that the Worldwide Leader even acknowledges that there is a baseball team playing in Detroit. Finally! They’re not going to talk about the YANKS and the SAWX, I thought.

Sigh. Yeah, right.



So they say they have six candidates for the MVP in the American League to discuss. Sadly, I can't remember which talking heads were babbling about all of this. Anyway, they actually brought up Miguel Cabrera’s name, but immediately dismissed him saying “all he does is hit, nothing else”. Whatever. The others? Mark Teixeira, Curtis Granderson, Jacoby Ellsbury, Adrian Gonzalez, and Verlander.

Tex and JV were cut and they spent the rest of the time promising free bj’s to any Yankee or Red Sox player that would stop by the studio. Something like that. Ellsbury ended up being their winner.

But they did bring up one interesting stat when talking about Verlander. They said the Tigers are 20-8 when he starts and one game under .500 the rest of the time. They reasoned that JV is the only reason the Tigers are in first because each of the other starters weren’t pulling their weight. WOW! JV is awesome!

But wait. He is great. But I’m not brain dead. I’ve watched WAY too much Tiger baseball for this to compute. There’s no way they can have a losing record when Scherzer starts, I thought. So I went to the numbers…and here’s the team’s win-loss record for each guy that’s started for Detroit this year.

Justin Verlander: 20-8
Max Scherzer: 17-9
Rick Porcello: 15-9
Brad Penny: 11-13
Phil Coke: 4-10
Doug Fister: 2-2
Duane Below: 0-2
Charlie Furbush: 0-2
Andy Oliver: 0-2
Jacob Turner: 0-1

As you can see, the team is 6-19 in that dreaded #5 spot. ESPN just assumed that the below .500 number of the team without JV pitching applied to everyone. They are lazy and make me want to choke orphans every time I tune in. Yet I keep doing so. It’s either that or listen to what passes for music nowadays in my car. I’m so old…

So yeah. JV is awesome. But don’t overlook the contributions of Max Scherzer and even Rick Porcello this year. I like our chances in a best of 5 or 7 series this postseason.

ESPN…your Worldwide Leader…in bullshit.

5 comments:

Sak said...

It was Doug Glanville.  Called Verlander and Cabrera "Pretenders" for the AL MVP.  I very nearly broke the TV.  Even Jared Weaver's bitch lover Olney was in JV's court today

StretchTB said...

Ellsbury is far and away NOT the MVP for the AL at this point. .310? 22 hr? 33 sb? That warrants an MVP? I think the fuck not.

At this point, it HAS to go to either Verlander, Granderson, or Bautista. Glad he took Tex out, but the only reason he did that was because his average was lower than Granderson's, or else he would have put him in the "contender" category.

This will make you want to punch babies, or kill hookers.. whatever it is you feel like doing. Glanville is a moron....

http://espn.go.com/video/clip?id=6888044

SRogo said...

I blame myself for all of this. I called Glanville smart last week.

StretchTB said...

Tsk tsk tsk.. though I suppose after the couple nice articles about the Tigers that ESPN has put up the past few days, they had to right the ship somewhere.. assholes.

Acdc2763 said...

Scherzer and Porcello's records are very deceiving. They are both top 10 in the AL in run support.