Monday, August 1, 2011

Brain Farts from @PhilCokesBrain, Vol 1

A few times since I started this silly blog, I've received offers from several nice enough folks that have offered to contribute to "the cause", if you will. I've always been reluctant to have another voice on here since this is my bastard child and I didn't really feel comfortable with anyone else's stuff on here.

But since starting my WORLD HEINOUS Twitter account, I've become quite the fan of the work of the inner thinkings of @PhilCokesBrain. He contacted me recently about posting some of his thoughts here and I thought it would be a fun change of pace from my idiotic ramblings and overuse of the "f" word from time to time. So, here's a few thoughts sent in by @Phil...I hope he doesn't mind me calling him that.

Ladies and germs, @PhilCokesBrain.

Phil's Brain Farts:
Man, what a busy week for us huh? With the trade deadline Dave Dombrowski has been busier than Miguel's sponsor Raul.
He's done some nice work. After sending Brandon to Toledo sales of striped polo shirts in the Detroit area have skyrocketed.
Wilson Betemit was a definitely a nice addition. I love the way his forearms don't have gaudy, child inspired tattoos.
Here is where you'd expect a Fister/Furbush reference. I'm in no way going to promote massive insertions or unkempt pubic hair, that's just immature and there is no place for it.
We also got this guy Pauley from the Mariners. I don't know much about him since I don't watch the Jersey Shore. I think he's a redhead who walks a lot of guys.
Sad to see Casper go. It's almost like he was here and then he wasn't. An ethereal presence to be sure. We'll miss his spirit.
I'm glad to see Daniel back from Toledo because having him around helps my chances to plow his hot sister.
What a great game on Sunday, right? It had drama, suspense, amazing performances, basically it was the opposite of a Transformers move.
I wish Guillen would have finished his home run trot by giving Weaver the double birds and making a thrusting, ass-slapping gesture like Stifler. Come on, if you are going to do it, let's do this thing right.
Weaver comes out looking like a douche though. At least that's what I picture an exiting douche to look like...seems kinda gross. To think Jeff was the classy one!
Oh, Jacob Turner had his big debut! Well, under this alias anyway. If he's 20 years old Rick Porcello has to be 14. He's a white, baseball Greg Oden. Wait, please please please let that not be true.
The Indians pick up Ubaldo Jimenez. This is the best trade the Indians have ever made. Their track record isn't that strong since they game up most of the continental United Sates for some Mardi Gras beads. (we even got some beaver pelts too, those are always nice to have around)
Well that's it, I'm going to enjoy the rest of my day off. It came are just the right time too, I'm almost out of hot pockets.
If you want more hot nuggets of brilliance, don't check me out on Twitter @philcokesbrain, you'll just see more of this crap.


verlander said...

I love Phil Coke's brain.

Jay Hathaway said...

"Sad to see Casper go. It's almost like he was here and then he wasn't. An ethereal presence to be sure. We'll miss his spirit."R-O-F-L

Ed Tigertracks said...

Phil Coke has a brain?

h2opolopunk said...

You just might have missed a Pauly Shore joke, Cokey.