Friday, August 19, 2011

Back From the Dead

WITCH #1:  Wing of bat, a demon's nutsack, please dark spirits, bring our boy back!

WITCH #2:  A mouse's ears, both a newt's eyes, he who cannot be killed, we command you rise!

/smoke fills the air
WITCH #2:  Huzzah!  Dig, my boy!  Dig!

WITCH #1:  Yes!  Yes!  Come forth!  Hahahahahahahahahahah!
JIM LEYLAND:  (cough...weeze) Uh...diditwork? Diditreallywork!?



ZOMBIE BRANDON INGE:  It's me, Skipper! I'm back! Reporting for duty!
JIM LEYLAND:  (hack) Brandon! OhImissedyouboy! Sogladyou'reback. (cough) Weneedyouson.

ZOMBIE INGE:  Haha, Skipper. Calm down. Your whiskers hurt. Anything you need, just ask.

LEYLAND:  Nowthatyoumentionit...(coughs up brownish chunk)...Alexhasn'thadadayoffinawhile. (hackhack) Canyoucatchabitforus?
ZOMBIE INGE:  Anything but that. Tell the Wilson fellow he's no longer needed. I'll be at third if you need me.

/lurches away

LEYLAND:  Shit. (lights cigarette with still burning one) Thanksfornothingyouhags.

WITCH #2: You actually thought this would work? Man, you are bad at decisions, sonny.

WITCH #1:  Before you go, Jim, we wanted to ask you something.

LEYLAND:  Makeitquick....(cough)

WITCH #1:  Have you considered batting Peralta or Avila higher in the lineup?

LEYLAND:  (coughing fit) Fuckthishorseshitteam...

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