Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Here's a Story...About a Man Named Brady

Hey, the Tigers won today! Magglio homered and gunned down a runner at the plate. Amazing what happens when you actually start him instead of one of your Clete-clones, huh, Jim? Austin Jackson made another amazing catch to save the game in the 9th. Al Alburquerque was outstanding in relief again. Don Kelly even hit a pinch-hit homer to prove that a blind squirrel is capable of finding a nut once in a while. Good game.

And that will be it for the Tigers portion of today’s post. No, the rest of this will deal with something personal. It will deal with some prick allegedly ripping off my work on his sports talk program. If this doesn’t interest you, then come back next time. We’ll get back to our originally scheduled programming of making fun of Detroit Tigers baseball and/or those that write about it poorly.

But for now, I want to speak on a man. A man named Brady.

There I was , balls-deep in this bitch enjoying another mind-numbing day at my job when I opened an email from a reader in Toronto named Kyle. Here’s part of that email.

The last 2 mornings, the Fan 590 (Toronto) Morning Show host Greg Brady has taken jokes made by you the previous day. Yesterday morning, in reference to Jack McKeon, talked about how he would ensure that everyone could go to Cracker Barrel for 7:00 (we don't have any Cracker Barrels here.. clearly he didn't invent this joke). This morning, he was going on about the stupid names of Jennie Finch's kids.

Kyle is referring to my post the evening of June 20th where I mock-imagined the clubhouse of the Florida Marlins with Jack McKeon in charge of the team. I had him talking about going to Cracker Barrel for breakfast since it is one of the favorite restaurants of old folks where I come from. Allegedly, Brady made the same joke during the 7am hour on June 21st.

The Jennie Finch thing was a tweet I made on June 21st making fun of the silly names she has chosen for her children. Brady supposedly mocked Finch in the same manner during the 7am hour the next day, again.

Odd, isn’t it? Now Kyle only listens to Brady’s show for about a half hour each day on his way to work during the 7am hour. If for two days in a row this has happened during that small window of time, how often does it really happen? The guy’s show goes for several hours. This is the question that Kyle asked me. I tried to review these broadcasts myself over at “The Fan’s” show log, but my computer is a piece of garbage and I couldn’t download the shows for some reason. I’m having to take Kyle’s word on this right now.

Of course, this could all be a coincidence. There is no way on earth that I can be the only person to be cracking jokes about McKeon’s age and Jennie Finch being a dumb twat. But then I looked up Mr. Brady on Wikipedia. And when I did, I nearly shit my pants. Here’s a bit talking about his job history.

He began his career in broadcasting at CIXX-FM, the campus radio station of Fanshawe College. Then moving on to CKLW in Windsor, Ontario. Then joining WDFN in the late 1990s. He appeared in various broadcast roles at WDFN before he settled in to co-hosting the Jamie and Brady show, with Jamie Samuelsen, from 2002 to 2007.

You’ve gotta be fist-fucking me. WDFN is a Detroit station. And Jamie Samuelsen, as many of you that follow this blog may know, is the Superman to my Lex Luthor. I’ve poked fun at many of Jamie’s articles written at the freep site over the past couple years. Let’s just say that he annoys me at times with his opinions on Tigers baseball.

So let’s recap. A sports talk DJ that has ties to Detroit, and was the partner for several years of a guy that I continuously mock, has used the same jokes as me the day after I post them for a couple days in a row. Is this a coincidence…or is this cocksucker ripping me off?

If he’s ripping me off, then Greg, let me say FUCK and YOU. As if I didn’t think that 99% of sports-talk assholes weren’t talentless flaps of dick skin before, I sure do now. According to the same Wikipedia page…

Brady was fired along with co-host Samuelsen and update host Matt Shepard in November 2007. Both Samuelsen and Shepard were eventually rehired by WDFN, leaving Brady as the only member of that show not to return to Detroit radio. As a non-American citizen without employment, Brady was forced to move back to his native Canada…

Holy shit, Samuelsen was the more TALENTED one that HE got rehired? Jesus Christ, you must be a fucking jackoff. Kyle tells me that you’re one of those prick DJ’s that think you sound smarter the louder you talk. I can only imagine the dogshit you spew to your poor, maple syrup drinking, Canadian listeners.

So do me a favor, you unoriginal, plagiarizing, worthless piece of shit, irritated cock wart: stop. Come up with your own bad jokes. Leave mine alone. If you think I’m worth stealing from, give me a shout-out. Spread the love. Show your work, dammit. But again, I’d prefer if you just stop. I don’t want an apology. Don’t send me an email. I don’t want any “war of words”. I just want you to stop. Or I will make it a top priority to start fucking with you. I’ve got the free time. And, by the way, thanks for reading!

The format of this very blog is not original. But I give credit to my sources and those I take my style(s) from. Giving props to sites like Fire Joe Morgan, Kissing Suzy Kolber, and other sites that I occasionally emulate do not make my work any less fun to read or write, I don’t think. But I’m not going to pretend that I’m some genius by tearing apart a bad sports article (usually written by Samuelsen). FJM did it for years and did it a hellova lot better than I ever will. I don’t try and fool my audience into thinking I’m the first to imagine silly scenes like the McKeon one. KSK has been doing that for years and they’re amazing at it.

But what I can’t stand to see is some clown stealing someone else’s work and claiming it as their own. I caught Deadspin doing it a year or so ago with some of Samara’s stuff from Roar of the Tigers. I know Kurt from BYB has had his work ripped off in the past by the Freep. And I’m sure many others out there, probably many reading this, have had it happen to them, too. It’s irritating, more than anything.

So stop, Greg. You fuck.

Now, if this all IS once big coincidence, then I apologize. Maybe this was all a mistake. Sorry that any of this was mentioned. I wish you luck in the future, Mr. Brady. Forget everything I just said. Go Leafs, eh?

But if it happens again, we officially have a problem. Don’t make me put a bounty on the teeth of your children. (Just kidding!) But we will have a problem.

Thanks to the few people out there that I respect that I contacted for their advice on how to handle this. For those of you that suggested I take the “high road”, well, I think we both knew that wasn’t going to happen.

And as for you, Kyle, thanks for reading, being a fan of the site, and sharing this with me. And FUCK YOU FOR RUINING MY DAY, HOSER! (Again, kidding.)

By the way, if anyone hears Greg Brady tomorrow say something about Don Kelly hitting a home run and pigs flying by and saying that it’s snowing in hell, let me know. I tweeted that today and think it would be HILARIOUS for a shitty sports talk show.

I’m gonna go get drunk now. Have a nice day, everyone.


Derek Schwanger said...

Fuck the high road.  What if it was Henning? 
/slow clap...

David Olvera said...

Time to steal all your content!

Kyle said...

What would be really funny is if he stole from THIS post.

NCDee said...

I tried to listen to the archived broadcast, but after listening to fifteen minutes of arguing about whether the Bruins were right to run up the bar tab like they did at their Stanley Cup celebration, I had to turn it off.  I want that fifteen minutes of my life back.