Friday, June 10, 2011

Defending Magglio Ordonez From Insane Ramblings at the Freep

I love this time of year. When it’s not raining, it’s beautiful out. The NHL and NBA Finals are going on. (Go Canucks and Mavs!) Baseball season is in full effect and pennant races are taking shape. And hey, the Tigers are in the middle of it! Most of all right now, my favorite player, Magglio Ordonez is coming back to the team on Monday. What could possibly ruin such a great time?

/knock on door

Who could that be? Excuse me…

Hello, Newman Samuelsen.

Jamie Samuelsen, after not annoying me for a while, has come back with a vengeance with a piece entitled "Magglio Ordonez will rejoin Tigers’ lineup, not that he should" over at the Freep site. When Jamie’s on his game, I agree with him more often than not, as of late. But when he’s off, there’s no one that can rile me up like he can. Kudos to you for that, sir.

So…let’s see what you got today.



Magglio Ordonez has earned a lot in his career. He has earned a lot of money. He has earned the adoration of Tigers fans. And he has earned a spot in Tigers history, thanks to his pennant-winning home run against the Oakland A’s in 2006.

But he hasn’t earned a free pass back into the lineup.

He hasn’t? Over parts of seven seasons and 3279 plate appearances, a .313 average, 103 homers, 506 RBI, a .376 OBP, a .860 OPS, and a 125 OPS+ doesn’t earn a guy a little something? Really?

If this were Clete Thomas or just any schmo, I might be inclined to agree with you. But this is Magglio Fucking Ordonez, a guy that hit .303 last year with a 132 OPS+. LAST YEAR! Not five years ago…LAST YEAR! Then he got hurt. And 99 at bats later you and a bunch of other pricks are ready to help dig his grave.

Fuck you with a rusty fan blade.

The Tigers are immersed in this pesky thing called a division race, and they have no time to be ceremonial. If this were a last-place club where nothing was working, perhaps Ordonez could come back from the disabled list and move right into the lineup.

This article was written June 10th with the Tigers only a game back, not September 10th. Lighten up. We’re in the worst division in baseball. There’s plenty of time to see if one of the best hitters in Tiger history can help us. It's not like we’re putting Carl Crawford on the bench to accommodate him, you know.

But there won't be any patience for a player to work his way back. And there’s actually no room for Ordonez, either.

Okay, here’s the thing you and the other “eff Magglio” people are overlooking. We’re in this race because the rest of the divison sucks right now. We’re in this race because of starting pitching and the performances of Cabrera, Boesch, Peralta, Avila, and VMart. We are not here because of these fucking guys…

Andy Dirks: .245, 3, 7, .322/.472
Casper Wells: .254, 2, 9, .315/.433

I like Wells and tolerate Dirks, but neither guy is putting up MVP numbers to make Dombrowski think twice about bringing Ordonez back onto the team. You people are crazier than Ozzie Guillen on angeldust.

Last summer, he was one of the better hitters in the lineup. But since he broke his ankle July 24, things have changed. He was done for the year and was brutal in the first month-plus of this year before the Tigers shelved him May 10. The revisionist history is amazing.

Hee hee…wait for it…

The Tigers insisted that he needed to strengthen the ankle and that the cold weather was making it hard on him. Funny, they didn’t care about the ankle when they signed him for $10 million in the off-season. They clearly were desperate for an outfielder because of the second-half decline of Brennan Boesch in 2010.

Revisionist history. Funny you should say that. From Jamie Samuelsen’s blog on December 17, 2010:

Give credit to Dave Dombrowski for this. He analyzed the weaknesses of this team in 2010. He analyzed his budget. He targeted guys who would fit those holes and went after them. And he got them. Possibilities such as Carl Crawford might have wowed the fan base a little more than Magglio Ordonez. But instead of getting annoyed about a Tigers rerun, try to view the signing a different way:

The Tigers didn’t overpay for a past-his-prime, poor-fielding player whose power numbers are in steady decline. What the Tigers did do was buy their way into contention. Without Ordonez, this offense wouldn’t have been able to compete for a playoff berth. With Ordonez, it can.

Wow. So which is it Jamie?

You cunt blister.

After Ordonez struggled, they put him on the DL to strengthen the ankle, and now he’s in Toledo on a "rehab assignment." Doesn’t anyone else find it odd that those rehab assignments usually last two or three games, and Ordonez has been down there a week?

Nope. He could have come back Thursday, but Magglio decided to play through the weekend in Toledo. He missed a lot of at bats in the spring and only had 106 total plate appearances in the bigs this year. He wanted to be sure he feels ready because he understands this team is in a pesky thing called a division race, and they have no time to be ceremonial. Give the guy credit for thinking of what’s best for the team instead of shitting on him.

There's something going on at Comerica Park. It’s probably one of the following scenarios:

A.) Ordonez simply isn’t hitting, and they don’t want to put an ineffective bat in the lineup.
B.) His ankle is still an issue and might be an issue going forward.
C.) The team is playing well right now, and the last thing the Tigers want to do is mess with the roster to bring up a player who simply doesn’t help the team.
D.) All of the above.

E.) Jamie Samuelsen is a psycho that thinks everything’s a conspiracy? Let’s blame the CIA for Magglio getting hurt in the first place! Yeah! Damn you, CIA! Damn you to hell!

My guess is that the answer is "D." There’s no logical player to send down to make room for Ordonez.

Dirks. Wells. Enrique Gonzalez…Higgy knows we have enough bullpen pitchers carrying fanny packs on this team the way it is. We have at least one too many.  Or send down one of the ten lefties we have out there. It's not rocket science. Schlereth's terrible. I bet he misses Ryan Perry, anyway. Ship him out.

Ryan Raburn would be the obvious choice,

Yes, when the right fielder comes off the DL, the starting second baseman is the OBVOUS choice on who to send down.

but he’s out of minor league options and is trying to make a go of it as the Tigers' second baseman (the third man to hold down that job in the first two and a half months of the season).

So why bring him up? Not relevant.

Don Kelly is playing third in the absence of Brandon Inge and is such a valuable utility player

Sigh.

that it makes no sense to replace him on the roster with Ordonez.

Fine. Agreed. I'm done with Kelly. Again, why bring him up then? Not relevant.

Andy Dirks hasn’t exactly been a revelation, but he has played well enough to stay around and has more pop in his bat than Ordonez.

We just covered Andy’s numbers. Nice kid, but after 59 plate appearances, I’m not ready to hop off the borderline Hall of Fame Ordonez’s bandwagon for his. I'm in shock that so many are, to be honest.

It bears mentioning that this is one of the challenges Dave Dombrowski took on when he signed Ordonez and Victor Martinez in the off-season. Martinez has been terrific; this is no knock on him. But he’s basically a DH.

Except when he’s not.

He plays catcher only sparingly, thanks to Alex Avila’s great season. No problem there. But the problem is when you pay lots of money to guys who can’t field a position. It’s a flawed strategy. This isn’t slow-pitch softball, where you can hide a guy in rightfield. This is the bigs. And Ordonez is a huge liability in the field (and also at the plate).

Before the injury, Magglio was actually playing a very good right field last year. He’s average to below average overall, to be fair. It’s not like he’s Adam Dunn out there.

As for being a liability at the plate, suck my cock. 

He was awesome last year. He’s been awesome his entire career. Yeah, he had a rough April. Mark Teixiera does every April. Adam Dunn, Vernon Wells, Derek Jeter, and other stars have struggled this year. Should they all be cut for having slow starts? You don’t give up on someone with Magglio’s kind of track record after 100 at bats.

His numbers in Toledo aren’t encouraging (.233 average in 30 at-bats, one extra-base hit).

Small sample size doesn’t just apply to what’s in your pants, my friend.

/zing

I’m so mature. Oh, and Magglio went 1 for 2 with a homer, 2 RBI, and 2 walks tonight. And don’t you think the AAA pitchers just MIGHT be pitching around Maggs a bit down there? Especially with the ever intimidating Scott Thorman batting behind him? Think Maggs just MIGHT see better pitches with Mig and VMart behind him?

Of course you don’t. Thinking that would require thinking.

If he didn’t hit in Lakeland and didn’t hit in Detroit and isn’t hitting in Toledo, what makes anyone think he’ll get back to the majors and start lighting it up?

His track record? The fact that Jhonny Peralta didn’t hit shit in Lakeland either and has been awesome? How about how when he started so slow in 2009 when his wife was ill and rebounded in the second half to hit .310? Did I mention his fucking track record?

Ordonez will be back. The Tigers don’t have much choice. But it will be one of those moves that might make the team worse just to placate a large contract.

No it won’t. It can only get better. The dude is getting paid no matter where he is. And being Leyland and Dombrowski's contract years, they aren't intentionally going to fuck the team over. To think otherwise is beyond stupid.

The only thing that gets worse with Magglio in right over the kids is some defense. How many balls per game will those guys get to that Maggs won’t? Maybe one? Two if the other team is lucky? Most of the game, the right fielder stands out there scratching his balls for three hours. And it’s not like he’s a statue out there. Or worse, Ryan Raburn.

Besides, this team needs a jolt of offense. Including tonight, in 30 out of their 63 games, the Tigers have scored 3 runs or less. Tell me a healthy Magglio Ordonez couldn’t do anything but HELP this team’s offense.

That’s the business of baseball. But in terms of the game of baseball, Ordonez should pinch-hit until he proves he can play.

Let me get this straight. The Tigers should not play Ordonez until he proves he can play. Um, what? Die of rectal cancer. How can you show you can play if you don’t play? That doesn’t make any sense. How about suggesting Magglio bat lower in the order until he shows he’s fully healthy? At least that would sound like something that’s not out of the mouth of a slow 10 year old.

And his hitting will have to be pretty strong to compensate for his weakness in the field. It’s a tough scenario for a man who has authored some great moments in a Tigers uniform. But time waits for no one. And time is especially impatient in the heat of a pennant chase.

Dramatic ending. Horseshit, but dramatic.

Magglio has the track record that shows that he can put us over the top in this division. And if he does, I expect a HUGE apology from Samuelsen and the others that jumped off the ship that wasn’t sinking in the first place. But we won’t get that. Jamie’s track record of double talk is proof of that.

And if I’m wrong about Magglio, I’ll admit it. I’ll even apologize to Mr. Samuelsen, not that I think he reads me or cares what I say. But I don’t think I’ll have to worry about that.

I don’t believe in much, people. But I do believe in Magglio Ordonez.

BONUS MATERIAL

I don’t think I’ve done this before, but some of the comments on the freep site to Jamie’s article are priceless. I have to share a couple with you. Good lord, people are fucking stupid.

Good thoughts Jamie!! I am wondering IF, DD could pull off a trade NOW, offering Raburn and Kelly, along with Maggs (Pay his ridiculous salary) and maybe throw in an extra arm from Toledo. The METS want to unload BOTH, Jose Reyes, and David Wright, which gives them REA:L Major League Players

Yes. The Mets will trade Reyes, Wright, or both to us for Raburn and Kelly, plus we will play Maggs’ salary on top of Jose and David’s for them. Do me a favor, son. Find your dad’s gun, point it at yourself, and…you’ll figure out the rest.

Spot on, Jamie. He should absolutely pinch-hit for now. Everyone else proved themselves and help get us back to the top of the Central. Hopefully Maggs is enough of a team player to recognize that, and hopefully Leyland doesn't just throw him in the line-up to satisfy a large contract.

Dirks and Wells have proven themselves. Magglio has not. We are all dumber for having listened to you, sir. Please jump in front of the closest moving bus.

I think DD needs to 'man up' and tell Ordonez he is going to sit and watch a lot of games when he returns. He needs to earn his way back into the lineup. A huge salary makes no difference. We are trying to win the Division this year.

I criticize Yankee and Red Sox fans for being fair-weathered, ignorant, racist, and stupid. But a large population of Tiger fans may have them beat. It breaks my heart.

I am 100% a Magglio Ordonez fan. I was there when he hit THE homerun. But Jamie is right. Hopefully Mags retires and goes out with dignity. I truly think that his career is finished, at least with the Tigers.

100 at bats in April, people. You make me sick.

Two words .... trade bait. Lets offer Ordonez, Inge and (hmmmmmmm) what ever minor leaguers Toronto would want. Add some money stir well and who knows. We might find that hitter we need.

They just keep getting dumber. Is this the thought process? “Durr, Jethro. We got dese guys dat can’t hit. Hmmmmmm. Why don’t we trade ‘em fer sumwun’s all stars?” Jesus fuck, people. Have you ever even watched baseball?

There’s more. Go over there if you dare. But you’ll only become dumber if you do. I advise against it.

Sorry for the double post today. I try to avoid that. Henning and Samuelsen got me riled up, though.

Tomorrow, I’m off to Detroit for the game. Hope it doesn’t rain. Until next time, beware of the trolls. They are increasing in number and might be contagious.

8 comments:

Greg Eno said...

Rogo, I love it when you tear apart pieces that I also disagree with (but it's rough when I agree with the ones you lambast!). I'm terrified that I'll find one of my pieces here! LOL (or maybe it would be a badge of honor!). Anyhow, agree 100% with you on Maggs and those willing to give up on him!

SRogo said...

C'mon, Greg. I've disagreed with you before. Difference is, when I do, you at least make an argument that makes sense. Plus, I like and respect you.

That may be a bad thing...ha.

Baroque97 said...

This is hilarious and fantastic. Dang, there isn't really enough time to keep up with all the blogs I would like to read - but this one is definitely at the top of my list.

Nice to know that I am not the only one banging my head on a desk reading stupid sportswriting about the Tigers (although I never venture into reader comments. There be dragons of stupidity there, and you are a very brave man for the venture). :)

Julian Miller said...

In the ultimate sense of humility and humor, you should tear apart one of your earlier pieces...i.e. the one at the season's beginning about Alex Avila.  Hey, it's not bad to be wrong in this case!

SRogo said...

Ha..maybe.  Thrilled I was wrong about Avila so far.  Kid's been amazing.

Smoothgbs said...

I love this blog.  You pretty much write what I think, just more hilariously.  I guess if you consistently hit .300, win a batting title, hit one of the greatest home runs in Tiger history, and continue to be from everything I have ever read a class act, you still have to prove you can play (to a bunch of asshat media members and window licking fans).  At least the few intelligent fans in the sea of stupidity out there can see the big picture.  I just wish we didn't have to swim in that sea all the time. 

Pavko1tg said...

Love the post, couldn't agree more with it...Now do you put the same kind of love out there for Mr. Guillen if he can get healthy...I'm just waiting to hear from Leyland or someone in the organization, 'No I don't think we need to make a trade.  If you get Carlos and Mags healthy that is like a making a trade.'  Come on you know this arguement is coming...I might eat these words, but this time it might be true...Still I would give up perry, crosby, and castellanos for Wright or Reyes in a heart-beat.  A line-up of Jackson, Ordonez, Boesch, Cabrera, Martinez, Wright/Reyes, Guillen, Peralta, Avila looks pretty damn good ON PAPER (I hate that term.)...To make this rant longer though think of this.  the tigers normally don't make BIG trades during the season.  They like the Casey, Huff, Washburn, Peralta type deals during the season.  That being said I could see them going after Casey Blake, or a vet like that...God forbid!  Alright, I'm done, for now...

Flydog said...

Funny stuff........man, you're good.  I think Maggs should get every chance to prove he still has it.  From the 6th spot or lower until he starts hitting.  I'd give him until the end of July.  If he still sucks, make a move for Beltran or at least somebody who is more than "Serviceable" like Wells or Dirks.  You are more confident than I that Maggs will find his stroke...........I'm rooting for him.

Inge.............he's been done for almost 2 years.  That's another story though.