Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Know Thy Enemy: Toronto Blue Jays

I’ve let you all down. I’m sorry.

You see, I made my first trip to the CoPa this year and attended Monday’s loss to the Blue Jays. As Jhonny Peralta’s home run made it a two-run game in the bottom of the 9th and all eyes in the stadium focused on Brandon Inge striding to the plate with a runner on first and a chance to tie it, I saw him.

Instead of the day's starter at second base, Ramon Santiago, striding to the on deck circle, future Manager of the Year Don Kelly was walking out there to pinch hit. No one else was paying attention, but I was yelling from my seat 20 rows behind the Tiger dugout, “Did Sizemore die? Get Kelly out of there!” Sadly, no one listened to me, and to the surprise of no one other than Jim Leyland, Kelly flied out to end the game.

I could have stopped it, though. Kelly was only 30 feet or so away from me. I could’ve hopped the railing, snapped his neck like in a war movie, and Sizemore would have come up and given us at least a chance. But no, I made a promise to my family to not get arrested anymore. It might have been worth it, though. I dunno…

Sometimes I with I didn’t care so much. Sigh. A day late, here’s your weak attempt at a Blue Jays preview.


Canada’s lone remaining MLB team, the Blue Jays were founded as an expansion team in 1977. 16 years later, they won their first World Series, the fastest an American League team has ever done so. Owned by Rogers Communications, the Jays are one of the three MLB teams under corporate ownership, with the other two being the Seattle Mariners (Nintendo of America) and the Atlanta Braves (Liberty Media).

Only one man in the Hall of Fame was inducted as a Blue Jay. That man was second baseman, Roberto Alomar. However, HOFers Paul Molitor, Dave Winfield, Rickey Henderson, Phil Niekro, and executive Pat Gillick all were Blue Jays at some point. Perhaps it’s the time period that I grew up in, but I always think of George Bell, Jesse Barfield, and Tony Fernandez when I think of the Blue Jays. Well, that and Joe Carter jumping around the bases after taking Mitch Williams deep.

Face of the Franchise
With Roy Halladay and Vernon Wells no longer a Jay, this is no longer the no-brainer it used to be. But I guess after his breakout 2010 season and hot start this year, Jose Bautista is now the man in Toronto. The guy is hitting off the charts right now and I consider it a minor miracle that he didn’t take one of our struggling relief pitchers deep after Max Scherzer left the game.

Old Friends

John McDonald is still around in Toronto. He had a cup of coffee with us a couple years back and is a light-hitting utility player. I’m surprised DD hasn’t offered him the moon to come to Detroit again.

Jason Frasor was drafted by the Tigers in 1999, but never played for the team. We traded him and Tom Farmer to the Dodgers in 2002 for Hiram Bocachica. That was another in a long line of blockbuster deals made by the team in the late 90’s, early 2000’s. Sometimes I’m amazed we never lost 150 games.

And who could forget Torey Lovullo, the Jays’ first base coach? A 5th round pick of the Tigers in 1987, Lovullo would debut the following September for Detroit. He was one of many young players that Sparky Anderson would gush about despite them having little to no talent once they reached the big leagues. Torey was traded in 1991 to the Yankees for pitcher Mark Leiter and played for a total of seven teams over parts of eight seasons hitting .224 with 15 HR and 60 RBI in 303 career games.

Other Superstar Players

Ricky Romero
Aaron Hill

Most Hated Blue Jay

To be honest, I don’t hate any of the Blue Jays. They’re a harmless bunch, other than Bautista’s freakish power. Gun to my head, I’ll go with J.P. Arencibia. Why? Well, when I was in Little League as a kid, there was a kid on the team named J.P. that was horrible. He didn’t want to be there and was being forced to play by his parents. He would sit in the outfield picking flowers while the game was going on. We all hated his ass.

So yeah…fuck J.P. Arencibia.


Judging by the group at Comerica tonight, they are all a bunch of goofy drunks. As I predicted in the preseason, the boozed up Jays fans kept heckling Miguel Cabrera the entire game for being a drunk. I don’t get this at all. This is why I hate people.

Canadian fans are stupid. They were made to attend hockey games and maple syrup eating contests. I can’t wait until the Jays are contracted one day. No one wants to play there anyway.


The Tigers have won 10 of 12. The two they have lost? My birthday and the game I attended on Monday.

Again…I apologize. I am doing the team no good right now...


Chuck Chessor said...

 I thought I was the only one that noticed the Kelly pinch hit.....very puzzling. Rod and Mario didn't even seem to mention it on TV, they acted like it was his normal spot in the order. 

Kate said...

I turned it off after our overpaid set up man decided to give up 3 runs, thankfully I also missed Don Kelly's Pinch non-hit.

Pawsdeep said...

I thought you would be dead this morning after I saw Kelly pinch hit due to brain anurysm...glad to see you're still here Rogo.

Thanks for the laughs and cynisism, as always.