But forget all that. We’re about to have our first series with those jerks who win our division every year (or at least 6 of the last 9), the Minnesota Twins. This year, the Twins are struggling. Poor things. I hope they never win a game again.
The Twins can be traced back to Kansas City in 1894 where they were a Western League team before moving to Washington DC in 1901 as one of the eight original teams of the American League. They were called the Washington Senators or Washington Nationals depending on the day, I guess. They were pretty bad back then and were immortalized in the Broadway musical Damn Yankees.
In 1960, Major League Baseball granted the city of Minneapolis an expansion team. Dicks. Washington owner Calvin Griffith requested that he be allowed to move his team to Minneapolis and instead give Washington the expansion team. Upon league approval, the team moved to Minnesota after the 1960 season, moving into Metropolitan Stadium, while Washington fielded a brand new "Washington Senators" (which later became the Texas Rangers).
Since then, the team has fielded Hall of Famers Harmen Killebrew, Bert Blyleven, Rod Carew, Kirby Puckett, Paul Molitor, Steve Carlton, and Dave Winfield. Honorable mention goes to Kent Hrbek and Jim Thome…two of the very few Twins that I haven’t wanted to see die in a dumpster fire.
Face of the Franchise
Fuck Joe Mauer.
None. Thank goodness for that. There’s nothing more disgusting than when a Tiger goes on to play for the White Sox or Twins. Breaks my cold, black heart.
Other Superstar Players
Francisco Liriano (crappy other than his no-hitter)
Justin Morneau (has no idea where he is)
Jim Thome (DL)
Joe Nathan (may be broken forever)
Delmon Young (DL)
Ha…we’re facing these guys at a good time.
Most Hated Twin
Oddly enough, as I look up his career numbers at baseball-reference.com, Pavano isn’t as big and bad as I seem to think of him against us. In 9 career starts against Detroit, he is 5-2 with an ERA of 3.79. Perception is sometimes more real than reality, I guess.
So, let’s go back to the mustache. Dude looks like he spends his off days in a windowless white van driving around outside junior high schools. Creepy, man. Creepy.
I hate the Twins. Only wins over the White Sox and Yankees make my testicles tingle more. This is only a two-game series, but it will be the opening shots of a season-long war. The Twins won’t continue to be as bad as they’ve been playing. We need to kick them while they’re down.
Remember Game 163? I sure do.
/tear rolls down cheek