Thursday, May 5, 2011

Get Off Magglio's Back

After a little over 80 plate appearances, everyone wanted to bail on Magglio Ordonez. Bench him. Put him on the DL. Shoot him in the head while he pets a rabbit. But what about the nearly 7000 appearances he had before that? Or even in just his time as a Tiger where he’s hit for a .315 average and an OPS+ of 126…do you think that just magically goes away overnight?  Is this a guy you really want to take a dump on?

After coming back from a broken ankle and having only an abbreviated spring, is it any surprise that Magglio would struggle early in 2011? I know it didn’t surprise me. And yes, he looks older. He looks like he’s in pain. But with a 15 year veteran possessing a lifetime batting average over .300, you give him the benefit of the doubt. You don’t call for his head after 80 stinking at bats.

Do I think he should have been hitting third this whole time? Hell no, I don’t. I wanted him dropped to sixth or seventh two weeks ago when it was obvious that he wasn’t ready. Much like the Rhymes/Sizemore situation, the Tigers are always two weeks behind my thought process. I am after all, a bloody genius.

Jamie Samuelsen, however, is a moron. A couple days ago, he completely bailed on Ordonez. The following is some of that.

His RBI total stands at one. One! lists players' projected stats, and Ordoñez’s projected RBI total is a comically tragic six. ESPN is projecting that Magglio Ordoñez -- he of the $10-million contract and cushy spot ahead of Miguel Cabrera in the lineup -- will knock in six runs this season.

Keep repeating yourself. Keep repeating yourself. Keep repeating yourself.

RBI is a misleading stat. Sure, Maggs hasn’t hit for dick until yesterday, but the fact that Austin Jackson and Tinkerbell weren’t getting on in front of him weren’t helping matters either. If you wanna call Maggs names, pick a different stat to hate on him for. OBP, slugging, VORP, whatever. But RBI? Christ…

Also ESPN is fucking stupid. If Magglio only drives in six, I will blow Don Kelly on national TV.

ESPN is projecting that Magglio Ordoñez -- he of the $10-million contract and cushy spot ahead of Miguel Cabrera in the lineup -- will knock in six runs this season. That won't happen, of course, but it still paints a pretty bleak picture of the Tigers' No. 3 hitter.

More repetition.  Also, here’s a stat that doesn’t mean anything and will not happen, but it makes me sad. I’m dumber than a bag of dead squirrels.

It’s a waste to pay Ordoñez $10 million to produce one RBI a month.

You just said this won’t happen. And it won’t. He will improve. BTW, he homered yesterday. Did ESPN predict that? No. They were too busy shitting themselves because Jeter got subbed for late in the game. That was glorious.

Want to know what a waste of money looks like? Look at Carlos Guillen. Or Joel Zumaya. Or Jamie Samuelsen.

Given Jackson's struggles, the Tigers need a lead-off hitter. Why not Cabrera? He bats with the bases empty anyway. What does it matter if he’s hitting fourth or first?

My head hurts. Samuelsen is giving me a brain tumor again.

I’m being facetious, of course, although I do think Cabrera should move up to third.

Oh. Again, he admits that what he wrote isn’t for realz. WTF. What is the point of this?

And what would the point of moving Mig up to third be? If no one’s getting on base for Maggs, what makes you think they will for Miguel?

It’s alarming that Dave Dombrowski analyzed free agency and this team and decided that Ordoñez was the best use of the money for the No. 3 spot.

It was the best deal out there. And everyone applauded it at the time. Would you have preferred that they gave $200 million to a schmuck like Jayson Werth instead of a one-year deal to Magglio? There was no one else out there. Ass.

Money or no money, he needs to sit. Casper Wells, Raburn, Boesch or Don Kelly can handle the position 20 times better than Ordoñez right now, and let’s face it: You’re not losing anything offensively.

The only thing Don Kelly can handle is being the worst possible option for the Tigers in any situation. If Magglio is healthy enough to play, the correct decision was the one that Jim Leyland made: Move him down in the order until he’s back to being Magglio. And even if it took him too long to make that decision, he did it.

Or the Tigers can just wait it out. They can hold team meetings and make proclamations about how things will improve. And that 7 1/2-game gap in the AL Central will continue to grow. It’s really up to them.

Thanks goodness it’s not up to you and the other nutcases out there. Does anyone out there really think Cleveland will keep this pace up? Is Minnesota panicking because Justin Morneau is playing like shit and talking about benching him? Are the White Sox going to cut Adam Dunn? Fuck and no, they aren’t.

Magglio will hit. He started to turn it around last night and hopefully it’s a sign of things to come.

No one on this team is playing up to their potential except for Miguel Cabrera right now. And as the idiot I made fun of yesterday suggested, fans are looking for a scapegoat. But that scapegoat isn’t Will Rhymes. It has been Magglio Ordonez.

Magglio has only been part of the problem. And again, I’m hoping that yesterday was the first step in taking care of it.  Until then, chill the eff out, people.  Cleveland's schedule has been weak.  It's not even warm yet.  It isn't the trade deadline already, for crissakes.

But if I have to be the voice of reason all year, we're all in big, big trouble.


William Westbrook said...

Having prematurely decided he was done in 2009, I've learned to judge Mr. Ordonez slowly.

JacksTigers said...

While him stating his projections of only 6 RBIs is pathetic, I too feel that Cabby should be hitting third.

Jay Hathaway said...

More reactionary BS from Samuelsen. One ought to learn to control one's impulses a little better before taking on a career in journalism. Yeah, right.

h2opolopunk said...

"Also ESPN is fucking stupid. If Magglio only drives in six, I will blow Don Kelly on national TV."

Careful... this reminds me of a South Park episode...

Lostinsauce said...

I don't live in Detroit (or Michigan, for that matter) so I'm at a loss- is this the standard for the sportswriters? Do they sit down and think "Uhh, I got nothin'. Let's pretend to panic about a career .300+ hitter so that I get paid this week"? This feels like the hatchet job that dickfuck LA Times reporter wrote about Marcus Thames: deliberately ignorant and incendiary. Or, maybe I'm overthinking this and Samuelson is just goddamn stupid.

Jennifer Cosey said...

I'm glad someone is defending Mi Magglio. I would've, but you beat me to it.