Tuesday, May 24, 2011

The 2011 Detroit Tigers Drinking Game

Everyone’s heard of the “Rod Allen Drinking Game”, right? If not, please click this link to an updated version put together last year by the good folks at Detroit4Lyfe. I honestly cannot read through it without laughing, even through I’ve been over it a dozen times or so.

But I got to thinking recently, why stop there? This entire Tigers team could supply us with a fun drinking game, too, couldn’t they? Granted, we may not get alcohol poisoning as quickly as we do with Rod, but it’s still worth a shot.

So I give you now my version of the 2011 Detroit Tigers Drinking Game. I’m presenting these as 15 one drink, two drinks, or three drinks scenarios. If you are an “advanced” drinker, I salute you, and feel free to increase these to one, three, and five. And as a tribute to Rod Allen, I’ll include one Rod-ism in each category. Enjoy, and don’t drink and drive. We’ve had enough of that in Detroit.



ONE DRINK

-If Brandon Inge, Austin Jackson, Brennan Boesch, Scott Sizemore, or Ryan Raburn strike out. Double if it’s looking.

-Jim Leyland makes a pitching or positional change to get a lefty/righty matchup.

-Extra base hit by anyone but Inge, Don Kelly, Will Rhymes, or Clete Thomas. Double for a home run.

-Lloyd McClendon or Gene Lamont are shown in the dugout. Triple if they actually move while on camera.

-If a Bernstein Law commercial comes on without Richard Bernstein as the featured family member in the commercial.

-Multi-hit game by Miguel Cabrera, Victor Martinez, or Magglio Ordonez. Follow by yelling “Viva Venezuela!”

-One of the FSD girls is seen. Double if it’s Lauren.
-Alex Avila is sporting facial hair. Double if it’s a full beard. Quintuple if he was clean shaven at the start of the game.

-Brennan Boesch swings at the first pitch in an at bat.

-Strikeout by Justin Verlander or Max Scherzer.

-Opposition hits a ground ball off of Rick Porcello.

-Opposition hits a fly ball off of Brad Penny.

-Tigers leave a runner stranded in scoring position.  Triple if runners left on second and third.

-Intentional walk given to Cabrera.  Triple if V-Mart follows with a hit.

-Rod Allen says the word “seed”.

TWO DRINKS

-If a Bernstein Law commercial comes on and Richard Bernstein is the featured family member in the commercial.

-If Verlander hits 100 pitches before the end of the 5th inning.

-Raburn makes an error.

-Inge throws a ball away.

-If you don’t know the answer to the trivia question. Double if you do know it. You’re obviously not drinking enough.

-Casper Wells or Don Kelly enters the game as a defensive replacement.

-A Tiger pitcher enters the game sporting high socks.

-Leyland is shown arguing/yelling/grumbling at an umpire.

-Dave Dombrowski is shown watching the game. Double if he’s wearing a loud polo or sweater.

-Jose Valverde is seen dancing or pumping his fist.

-For any inherited runner allowed to score by a member of the bullpen. Double if it’s Joaquin Benoit pitching.

-Wells is shown in the dugout doing a weird handshake with a player. Double if it’s Cabrera.

-Instant replay shows that the umpire screwed the Tigers on a call.

-Phil Coke allows a walk.  Double if he's seen cursing afterward.

-Rod says “piece” as in “slide-piece”.

THREE DRINKS

-If Don Kelly is starting and batting 6th or above. Double if it’s 3rd or above. You’ll need the quick buzz.

-Brad Thomas enters the game when we’re not up or down at least 5 runs.

-If V-Mart or Cabrera strike out. Double if it’s looking.

-Extra base hit by Inge, Kelly, Rhymes, or Thomas. Double for a home run. Immediately follow by saying the phrase, “Sorry, Rogo.”

-Valverde enters the game in a non-save situation.

-Leyland visits the mound and does NOT remove the pitcher. Double if the pitcher allows a run to the next batter he faces.

-Boesch draws a walk.

-A Tiger relief pitcher gets a 1-2-3 inning. Double if it’s Ryan Perry or Joaquin Benoit. Triple for Valverde, it’s celebration time!

-An injury update on Carlos Guillen or Joel Zumaya is given.

-Multi-home run game for a Tiger. Double for Inge, Kelly, Rhymes, or Thomas. Do the “Sorry, Rogo” thing again.

-It’s the seventh inning and the Tigers have 2 runs or less. Double if they’re winning.

-V-Mart throws out a runner attempting to steal.

-Multi-hit game by Raburn. Double if it’s before August.

-A former Tiger hits a home run for the opposing team. Triple if it’s a walk off homer.

-Rod mentions a food. Can include calling a pitch a piece of “cheese”, an RBI a “rib eye” or “steak”, or drooling over cotton candy. Anything involving food…Rod’s a hungry man.

When the doctor is pumping your stomach, tell them “Rogo sent me.”

3 comments:

h2opolopunk said...

Everything became a blur somewhere in the middle of the "two drinks" section.

Chuck Chessor said...

I would like to add a drink for Phil Coke pointing in the air to any given fly ball. 

Swking2 said...

how about when miggy appeals to the first base ump when the pitch is in the dirt