Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Tiger Droppings: Start of Free Agency Edition

Lots to discuss and I’m a very busy man. No witty intro (is there ever?), so let’s get on with it.

Dombrowski Goes Shopping at V-Mart

Today the Tigers signed noodle-armed, awesome-hitting catcher/DH/first baseman Victor Martinez to a four year/$50 million deal. The Tigers will also lose their first round draft pick to the Red Sox, unless they also sign Jayson Werth. In that case, the Phillies would get the Tigers pick. As if those pricks haven’t received enough from us the past few years.

How does Your Party Host feel about the deal? I love it for the next two years. But the other two? I think we’re looking at Carlos Guillen, Part Deux. Vic’s already in his early-thirties. He’s an abortion at throwing runners out. And now we’re basically locked down at DH for the next couple years.  Speaking of Guillen, where does he do now?

On the bright side, V-Mart has a career OPS+ of 121. He doesn’t strike out much at all. He’s a hell of a hitter and knows the AL Central well after so many years in Cleveland. He should be happy with fellow ex-Indian, Jhonny Peralta on the team, as well as the rest of Team Venezuela. Seriously…is there anyone on the team that can speak understandable English anymore other than Verlander, Inge, and Jackson? I mean have you heard that hilljack Raburn speak? It’s all clicks and whistles to me…

Deals Martinez reportedly turned down:
*Red Sox: 3 years/$36 million
*Red Sox: 4 years/$42 million
*Orioles: 4 years/$48 million
*White Sox: 3 years/$48 million

Eat it, Chicago.  With Victor signed, right field remains the biggest hole the Tigers have to fill. And with Martinez, I’m hoping that it’s just another reason that Magglio returns to town. The more Venezuelans the merrier, am I right? That is Dombrowski’s motto, you know.

Welcome to Detroit, Victor. Try not to piss me off. After all, you are the only non-Tiger bobblehead that I own. See?

Ha…we’re buddies already.

More free agent fun after the jump…

Other Free Agent News

-A few days ago, Detroit made the first big splash at free agency by giving Tampa’s 2010 set-up man, Joaquin Benoit a three year, $16.5 million deal. It’s the biggest deal a non-closer has signed since Scott Linebrink’s White Sox deal three years ago. Last year, Benoit had a 1.34 ERA, an amazing 295 ERA+, and 11.2 strikeouts per nine innings in 60 1/3 IP. Awesome stuff. Trouble is, he missed all of 2009 due to injury and in his eight seasons before that, only had one year (2007) that wasn’t complete dogsh-t. It’s a gutsy move by Dombrowski, but if Benoit pitches close to like he did for the Rays, it’s one that we’re all going to be thrilled about. It also gives Joel Zumaya more leeway in making his comeback as he won’t be counted on to immediately be the bridge to Jose Valverde in 2011.

I look forward to the day when the Tigers don't have to grossly overpay free agents to come to Detroit.  Does everyone really think that the city of Detroit is nothing more than burning cars, drive-bys, and overweight female Brandon Inge fans?  Wait...what else is there in Detroit?  Crap.

-The Tigers are one of seven teams interested in Brandon McCarthy, recently released by the Rangers. Brandon has a career record of 20-24, with a 4.62 ERA, and an ERA+ of 101. But for some reason, McCarthy is a long-time favorite of mine who has battled numerous injuries throughout his career. He’s still only 27, is 6’7, and pitched pretty well in AAA last year. He’s currently pitching good enough in Winter ball to garner all the attention.

I’d love to see him as a member of the Mud Hens rotation next year, with an eventual call-up whenever one of our guys gets an ouchie on their arm-spot. Make it happen, Dave.

Then again, I’m terrible at evaluating talent. I liked Ryan Leaf better than Peyton Manning, Rick Mirer better than Drew Bledsoe, and thought Josh Anderson was going to be a star for the Tigers. I did get Kevin Durant over Greg Oden right, though…high five.

-Detroit re-signed reliever Enrique Gonzalez to a minor league deal.

Venezuelans, Dude.

-Finally, the Tigers signed Al Alburquerque to a major league deal despite the 24 year old never pitching above AA ball.

Here’s to hoping that Dombrowski hasn’t made a wrong turn at Alburquerque. Harf…

Always A Tiger Notes, mostly via MLB Trade Rumors

-Aubrey Huff re-signed with the Giants for two years at $22 million. Quite a raise from his one year/$3 million deal he had with San Francisco in 2010. I was going to congratulate Aubrey on his deal, but then I remembered 2009. F-ck you, Aubrey Huff.  I hope you accidentally bump heads with a visiting Barry Bonds and your orbital bone explodes.

-The Reds signed Dontrelle Willis to a minor league deal. Good gawd, what does this clown have to do to prove that he’s done? And why can’t it be the White Sox or Twins that sign him? Maybe one of them will sign Nate. I’d gladly offer up each of your next-born children for that to happen.

-Three teams are reportedly interested in Jarrod Washburn, one of them being the Milwaukee Brewers. If either of the other two are the Tigers, I will stab Dombrowski in the chest with a broken beer bottle.

-Jay Sborz signed a minor league deal with the Braves. Congrats, Jay. Sorry I never learned how to spell/pronounce your name properly.

That’s it, kids. I’ll try to get something up over the Thanksgiving holiday since I usually spend it alone in the dark drinking cheap beer and wondering why my family hates me.

Either way, have a good one.

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