Friday, February 5, 2010

Tiger Droppings: 2/5/10


Top Story: Everybody’s Got a Price!

Hey. Did you hear about the big signing? Yes, after weeks of speculation, the deal is done. Finally, we can put all the questions to rest. Will the Tigers give him a long term deal? Does he want to be in Detroit? How will the deal affect the rest of the guys on the team? How much will he get out of Dombrowski?

Yes, Adam Kennedy has officially signed a deal with the Washington Nationals instead of Detroit!

Harf.

Of course, I’m referring to the 5 year, $80 million extension signed by Justin Verlander with the Tigers. Everyone’s favorite death-stare giving fireball pitcher will be wearing the D for quite a while, it seems. Or he will at least until the Yankees come calling, but that’s a story for another time.

JV’s big deal breaks down like this. In 2010, he’ll be underpaid at $6.75 million. In 2011, it jumps to $12.75 million. From 2012-2014, Justin’s going to be banking at $20 million per year. Overall, he’ll get $2 million more than the younger, possibly better Felix Hernandez will receive from the Mariners in his five year extension. Not bad for a guy who two years ago had a 4.84 ERA and led the league in losses.

But make no mistake, I’m not going to crap all over this deal. It had to be done. Something had to be done to pacify a fanbase that has been growing more paranoid every day this offseason. I mean, first, the most popular player on the Tigers, Curtis Granderson, gets traded. The team’s best player, Miguel Cabrera, is viewed as a drunk that no one can count on. The second most popular player (for whatever reason), Brandon Inge, has a contract up after this year. Nate Robertson is still alive. And we still haven’t seen anything done to help boost what looks to be a terrible offense.

Enter Verlander’s deal. Of course, locking up the best pitcher Detroit has seen in decades was going to eventually be a top priority for the ugly sweater wearing general manager in Tigertown. But after the events of the past few months, it needed to be done before the torches and pitchforks were marched up to the doors of Comerica Park on Opening Day. Tiger fans are happy again, the Free Press and Detroit News writers are celebrating, and I’m sure JV is smiling for once.

But if he ends up pulling a Jeremy Bonderman, Dave Dombrowski is screwed. And so are all of us.

In Other News

-Take My Aging Outfielder, Please

Noted hater of puppies, kittens, and anything most humans find nice, agent Scott Boras keeps on trying to sell the Tigers on noodle-armed, overrated outfielder, Johnny Damon. Yes, I’ve said here before that I’d like to see the former Captain Caveman as a Tiger this year, but that’s only because the other free agent options are so terrible. If Damon can be had at under $5 million, I say give it a shot. Anything to keep Clete Thomas’ involvement with the offense to a minimum.

Boras is still set on getting a two year deal for his client, but the Tigers are only rumored to be considering a one year deal. No one really knows how much contact has been made between the two sides, but I like to imagine it as Boras and Dombrowski texting like they’re 15 year old girls.

BORAS: i think johnny likes u. lol
DOMBROWSKI: omg rilly???
BORAS: yup. can help tigers be winners.
DOMBROWSKI: wow…wuts he want?
BORAS: 2 yrs. 15 mil.
DOMBROWSKI: LOLZ
BORAS: NO!!! im sooooooo for realz!!!
DOMBROWSKI: ummmmmmmmm
BORAS: plz?
DOMBROWSKI: damon sux lol. u r crazzzzzzzyyyyyy!
BORAS: omg yer mean. :P
DOMBROWSKI: 1 year maybe. he iz cuteeee
BORAS: i know!!! so hawt!!! lemmie know asap. k?
DOMBROWSKI: k…ttyl. jersey shores comin on. L8RS!

It was either that bit or going with the image of Damon being at a dog show with Dave as one of the judges…peering into his mouth, cupping his testicles, etc. I think I went with the classy approach for once.

-Minnesota Sucks For Reasons Other Than Brett Favre

Those pricks did it again. This time, the Minnesota Twins have signed Orlando Hudson to a one year, $5 million deal for 2010. Dammit. That’s quite the upgrade over Nick Punto, who makes Adam Everett look like Derek Jeter at the plate. The Twinkies apparently were outbid by the Racist Logos of Cleveland, but Hudson rightfully realized that his chances of being on a winner were better in the Land ‘o’ Lakes. If the Twins maintain consistent pitching this year, they could win this division by a dozen games.

The odd thing about their team, though, is how many left-handed hitters they’re going to be trotting out there. Joe Mauer, Justin Morneau, Jim Thome, Jason Kubel, Denard Span, and now Hudson are all coming from the left side. So THAT’S why Dave’s been stockpiling all the lefty relievers! And you all doubted him.

Sigh.

Add in Delmon Young, Michael Cuddyer, and the other new guy in the infield, JJ Hardy, and the Twins are looking mighty tough, even without their abortion of a Metrodome. Just pray for horrible, painful injuries for the M & M boys. I know I will be. If Morneau can hurt himself playing hockey or ice fishing, and Mauer gets a sprained sideburn or two while staring in the mirror, we’ll have a fighting chance.

Keep your fingers crossed, kids.

-Always A Tiger Updates via MLB Trade Rumors

Jeff Weaver re-signed with the Los Angeles Dodgers on a minor league deal that’ll pay him $800K plus another possible $100K in bonuses. Remember when he was our ace of the future? Glad we didn’t give that clown $80 million.

Gary Sheffield is reported to be considering two unidentified teams and waiting on offers from each of them. Yeah, me too, Sheff. Retire, dude. What are you trying to prove?

Frank Catalanotto signed a minor league deal with the New York Mets. The Brewers and Marlins had been interested in him, too. After all these years, I am still not capable of spelling “Catalanotto” without reading it off of a piece of paper as I type it.

Jon Paul Morosi tweeted that Craig Monroe is not ready to retire and is looking for a team to play for. Craig has spent the past three seasons trying to find out what happened to the limited ability that he actually once had. But I wish him good luck…Craig’s always seemed like a nice guy.

But, Plugs

-The only guy I know that moves around more than Gary Sheffield, John Parent, has switched blogs once again! John is taking over the main posting duties at Motor City Bengals, while Joe Dexter will still be around for his weekly podcasts. Stop by there if you haven't had a chance. Good luck with your new position, John. I look forward to seeing you at The Spotstarters in three months. Ha.

-Speaking of The Spotstarters, Blake’s inability to post more than once a week has led him to, of course, start a new site called Fans of Mediocrity. It’s actually a fun concept as they’ll be profiling athletes that have kind of faded into history that you probably haven’t thought about in years. Definitely some fun reads over there so far.

-It’s almost a week old now, but The Freep has a piece up that is by far the best thing I’ve read over there. Of course, it was written by a reader and not them. Warning, though, if you’re a Brandon Inge fan, you won’t want to read it. Then again, if you’re an Inge fan, why the hell are you reading me?

-Drew Sharp annoys me. Yes, we're happy about the deal. But don't try and convince me that Justin Verlander is the face of the city of Detroit, all of the sudden. What is a "Detroit Man" anyway? When I think of the men of Detroit, I sure as hell don't think of guys walking around with $80 million coming to them. Die in a fire, Drew. Sorry, it's past 5am and I'm tired and fussy.

-Lynn Henning’s reaction to the Verlander deal was, of course, to start talking crap about Curtis Granderson again. Come the frick on, Lynn. Look, I, for the most part, agree with you about Grandy, okay? But for crissakes, let it go. Does the man owe you money or something?

-Kurt at Bless You Boys offers his opinion on Johnny Damon’s status after Double D made some comments on adding to the offense. I tend to agree with him, here. It feels a lot like the week or so before Pudge Rodriguez signed with the Tigers. You constantly heard about the rumors, you just wanted it to end, and he ended up signing. Just get the deal done if you’re going to do it, guys.

-Interested in how several Yankee bloggers feel about the Granderson trade? Yeah, I don't really care about Yankee fans, either. But hotstove.com has several of their reactions right here.

That’s it for me, kids. Email me at rogoisgod@yahoo.com if there’s anything you think I should comment on in these Tiger Dropping things or something you think should be linked. I’m not the most organized person in the world, if you couldn’t tell. Stay warm, stay safe, and don’t eat the yellow snow.

L8RS…lol

4 comments:

John Parent said...

Well played. Never in my life did I expect to be compared to Gary Sheffield. I won't address any rumors about interest from other sites, I will only say that if Blake is looking to add depth, he can contact my agent. I expect Sheffield-type money though. 4 yrs, $40 million.

Anonymous said...

Enjoyed the droppings, as usual. Your command of 15-year-old girls texting is outstanding, if a bit creepy.

rea said...

Just get the deal done if you’re going to do it, guys.

Well, but you can see why the Tigers want to take this negotiation slow, while it becomes more and more apparent to Damon that he has to take whatever the Tigers offer him. I like him better for 1 yr./$5 mill. as opposed to the 2yr./$14 mill. rumor has him asking (and which he turned down from the Yankees earlier in the offseason--big mistake).

Anonymous said...

Enjoyed the droppings, as usual. Your command of 15-year-old girls texting is outstanding, if a bit creepy.